stregoica dance

I was awake when the rumors started coursing through the veins of the internet. Blabbermouth.com reported a tweet from Juliya, if I recall correctly. Next, Evan Seinfeld was quoted. I despaired, but hoped that the early reports were erroneous. It was, after all, the late night / early morning. I went to sleep and hoped to wake up to better news.

I woke up a few hours later. The sun was pushing through the blinds, casting gold light into my room. I remember reading the report that Peter Steele had, indeed, passed away. My eyes welled up with tears. I shed them with quiet dignity.

The world lost an emperor.

I lost an inspiration.

I often wonder what art Peter still had up his sleeve. He never seemed to be lacking for inspiration. Every Type O Negative album was a different shade of green, and all equally a feast for the senses. I have no doubt that the follow-up to ‘Dead Again’ would have been phenomenal, iconoclastic, eccentric, and, above all, essential. The fact that we were deprived of it is a sin.

In spite of all of this, the reason for Peter’s passing should not be glossed over. Peter spent his latter years addicted to drugs and alcohol. Peter stopped taking care of his health. Peter not only surrendered to his demons, but worshiped them. If he took better care of himself then, perhaps, he would still be with us.

Would it be the same Peter? No, of course not. The man that we all grew to love was one riddled with faults, addictions, and paranoia. At the same time, we do not know what could have been if he saved himself when the time was right. We do not even know what time could have been right. A day before his passing? A month? A year? A decade? In any event, it would have never been too soon.

If Peter’s brilliance in Carnivore and the early days of Type O Negative are any indication, it was not necessary for him to be in the throes of addiction and psychosis to be a fantastic artist. He would have blessed the world with different, but equally valuable, works of art. He is missed. He will never be replaced. We are poorer for his passing.

On that note, let it be known: addiction is reprehensible, and mental illness is fatal. Neither have a place in a functioning, healthy individual. It is not a question of if they will tear a person down, but when. I do not know the intimate details of Peter’s private life, but there was a scenario where he could have lived beyond the day of his passing. Addiction and mental illness did not allow it.

We live in a generation which enjoys excess and glorifies pathological behavior. I condemn it. Living in a substance-induced haze is no way to succeed. Living in the fog of mental illness is no way to thrive. Sort out your problems. Confront your demons. Put away your sacred flaws. Your potential is greater than you know if you would just allow yourself to reach for it. If it makes you weak then cast it away. There is absolutely no shame in admitting it and doing so.

Rest in peace, Peter.

We loved you.

We miss you.