elder emo

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

They weren’t lying when they said that as an adult you have to fight for your life to practice your hobbies

They also weren’t lying when they said that when you fail to do so your soul shrivels up inside your body and dies

we could wear respirators. since you want to be such a little bitch about it

i think everyone in the whole world forgot that mystery doesn’t have to equal crime

sometimes it’s just like. what happent ?

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

let's all have a fun time looking up new words when we encounter them to see what they mean before incorporating them into our vocabularies

"no you can't control the computer because uh that would be user unfriendly" <- shit they expect us to believe