spending way too much time trying to write out a pinned post...
hihihi we're lyra*. first things first, our main account was created in 2011 and is older than the minimum age to create a tumblr account 🙃 that's neat.
so, I am an adult with a real adult office job. over the age of 25. do with that information what you will.
second, we are a system. this is kind of a system blog, as in, we're not going to hide that we are a system. our main blog was primarily reblogs, but here i'm going to mostly share stuff thoughts to punt into the void.
I don't really use social media, especially not how I did in high school. So if i disappear it's either I'm focused on irl stuff or our system is.. being difficult.
*(subject to change at any time)
additional details under readmore:
the friends you may encounter:
lyra
eden//honor
evie
xyl
tristan
...and many more!
right now we are particularly into linux operating systems. we use nobara linux, and it is fucking awesome. we used cachyOS for about a year and a half before, and our only regret is not switching to nobara sooner. cachyos was cool, but having updates to run every single day just did not vibe with me. also sucks when you're going through a phase of not using your pc much.
i'd like to try out more intense distros, and I'm interested in LFS, but I am not a computers guy.
I was supposed to, but I failed AP computer science in high school and said never again. so, I work in finance (invoicing and collections). wow, the joke writes itself- nevermind.
so. I have an email job, and when i come home from my email job, I like to do focus on other hobbies.
those being, crochet/knitting, reading, coloring, painting... lately have been playing minecraft with our partner. I don't really do gaming, so it's my first time playing minecraft! it's a great time!
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.....oh my god I realized why i was bad at recognizing my emotions i mean autism is probably the *main* reason why. but DID was the reason that exercises... to help you identify your emotions..... did not work on me
(this was a few years ago) i had a therapy appointment, and the "homework" for the week was to look at an emotions chart, so that you get familiar with complex emotions, and journal how you feel.
i printed one out for me to carry around and record, like scientifically, the emotion I was experiencing....
if i recognized that i was experiencing the emotion.
and like. i genuinely believed that was what you were supposed to do
so a week goes by, of me doing this. and i wanted to show my therapist that i understood the assignment, For Sure. So. I put my printed Emotion Chart in frame and said, "I am doing... *let me see here*....." ...and that is when the therapist did not let me figure out which emotion I was feeling. and just happened to "forget" that I even spent a week doing that exercise because they never brought it up again
part of being an adult is figuring out what eveyone else's definition of "going crazy" is. to you it is not sleeping for 60 hours, writing 80k words in one sitting and expiriencing enough anxiety to kill a horse. to beth from accounting its buying a ticket to Columbus, Ohio. and to your friend its consuming so much ketamine you lose all of your posessions and wake up with five broken bones in a ditch somewhere and then proceeding to do it again the next day. to your other friend its writing a letter to their favourite actress about how much they appreciate her work. to your neighbour its laughing loudly in a grocery store whilst in pajamas. maya from uni hears the voice of her dead father making jokes with no punchlines and she considers that to be quite normal - to her going crazy would be hearing her husband instead. your downstairs neighbour will take night walks naked sometimes and claim there is nothing weird about him. there are literally no rules to life and all meaning is in the eye of the beholder.
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Something I notice in the general internet is the idea that someone sharing positive experiences with their system = romanticizing a mental disorder.
Yes, we do experience a lot of difficulty with this disorder. It can't be cured. It can't just go away. There are some alters that wish it would just stop.
But it isn't nonstop 24/7 suffering. Although it's not curable, system mapping and communication IS possible. And when alters interact, it's not solely for negative things. Our lives (as in, people with plurality) are not solely suffering. We still have good fun times, and our alters can experience fun in ways that people that are non-plural will never experience or even 100% understand.
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(obscuring username as not to single anybody out + not negative. just in case someones shy) but this is actually what we did with our journals at first too. we used lighthouse for some time, alongside discord/simplyplural. but with simplyplural being left and not wanting to be as on our phone/computer, we switched to paper.
for people with higher system counts, there are actually really good paperback journal 'packs' you can get at most stationary stores. if buying a 10/15$ journal seems too intimidating, you can get these packs for like, 10 dollars total, and each one only has about 40ish pages.
this way if you have parts that dont front as frequently, you dont have anyone worrying about 'waste' while still providing them their own space. these are just a few examples.
something unexpected this ended up helping with was actually our individual memories too. i noticed some people asking 'how do you journal if you're blurry/have bad memory as a part?' and, well, that's actually why i started doing it. i wanted to remember more than just 'feeling bad' whenever i fronted, so i carry my journal with me and write down basically like, everything.
even just passing thoughts like 'i kind of wish we had beef strips at home for dinner' or 'im really excited for artfight this year'. when you're trying to recover as a system, especially as a part thats been heavily slotted with a lot of 'negative' emotions, its important to give yourself the space to express more than those things. if you only ever remember yourself as being 'angry/bad' then you wont develop much past that, and you start to internalize that shit and really hate yourself.
journaling has been a great outlet for me to vent and draw my own stuff, but it's also given me some dignity and the space to feel like a person outside of just being like. traumatized. i sort of use it as a vault of everything about me, good and bad, important and trivial.
also like, importantly, from both an eco friendly and anticap standpoint, you can really just use stuff you have lying around the house already. i think personalizing your journal is important, but you can also do that without going out and buying 56347875 things. personally i got really into junk journaling alongside writing and drawing, because it gave me a spot to put a lot of the cool stuff that other people would think is trash.
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