hot choclety mink

I think my ego is kept in check bc when I spend time with my friends they're always shouting at me and pushing me into open pools of lava

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

Reblog you stay silly

I know this is a deeply American thing to say but I am begging everyone to stay the fuck away from military recruiters. Especially high school kids. You are going to be seeing an unholy amount of them in schools or around schools or literally anywhere kids are known to congregate. THIS INCLUDES ALL FORMS OF ROTC. Stay the fuck away from military recruiters. As someone who’s familiar with entirely too many branches through entirely too many friends and family, including my partner, recruiters are authorized to say literally any fucking thing they think will make you sign on that line. They cannot and will not deliver on those promises. They need bodies for the war they’re pretending is only now starting up again. That’s all you are. A body. Stay the FUCK away from the military.

RECRUITERS LIE

it is killing me a little that so many people are in the reblogs and replies asking for the game's name. if you look at the original text, you may find your answer. perhaps even in the second sentence. capitalized

Listen. I wouldn’t just fuck an alien. I’d take an alien out on a date, to their favorite restaurant. I’d marathon an aliens favorite show with them. I’d spoon an alien every night. I’d bring an alien little random tokens and gifts to remind them of my affection. I’d help an alien work through their emotional issues and family baggage. I’d adopt a shelter pet with an alien and raise him as our very own son. I’d grow old with an alien, every blissful year of our union reminding us of how much we cherish each other. I’d make love to an alien.

I bet it feels real good to be a sailing ship when they tighten the rigging

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

Still no homo ?

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.