Strangely Enough

Physics says: go to sleep. Of course you’re tired. Every atom in you has been dancing the shimmy in silver shoes nonstop from mitosis to now. Quit tapping your feet. They’ll dance inside themselves without you. Go to sleep. Geology says: it will be all right. Slow inch by inch America is giving itself to the ocean. Go to sleep. Let darkness lap at your sides. Give darkness an inch. You aren’t alone. All of the continents used to be one body. You aren’t alone. Go to sleep. Astronomy says: the sun will rise tomorrow, Zoology says: on rainbow-fish and lithe gazelle, Psychology says: but first it has to be night, so Biology says: the body-clocks are stopped all over town and History says: here are the blankets, layer on layer, down and down.

So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what I actually needed. What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered. I have found this very useful to think about over the years, and I find that it is a lot easier and more bearable to be sad when you aren’t constantly berating yourself for being sad.“

Don’t worry if you’re not where you want to be yet. Great things take time.

you’re the first person I wrote poems about you’re the first person i wrote poems for i wish you could have read them i wish you could know just how much you have meant to me since the moment you entered my life i knew you were going to rip me open and make my soul anew and breathe life into it i think i gave you too much power i was too dependent on you when I should have been dependent on myself but you live and you learn, and i won’t do that again you were my first for a lot of things you were my first love and also my first heartbreak i saw myself marrying you and that was really scary for me at the time, i was really coming to grips with my identity and who i wanted to be I thought i had a choice in this but i cannot help who i fall in love with no one can but one thing’s for sure - even if I could choose, i would still choose you in a crowded room, our souls would still link i was lost and somehow in all the madness, you found me you always say you found me, but we found eachother the distance is what broke us i don’t think we knew what we were up against we were young, dumb, and in love we were both so naïve and just wrapped up in another’s presence you were the most beautiful soul i had ever come into contact with you were so precious and i saw that you were fragile and i’m fragile too i wanted to protect you from the world. you made me feel excited about everything in life you made me feel so alive and inspired i had never felt this strongly for anyone in my life and i couldn’t get enough i was addicted to you and the idea of you i was always looking to get my fix holding your hand, kissing your face, falling asleep and waking up beside you were the things i loved most even though i didn’t get to do them very often I definitely took you for granted i took the love you have for me for granted too but i will always love you the thing about me is that my love for you will never fade if there is one thing of which i am sure, it is that. because when i love, i love so hard it makes me want to dance in the rain and you know i hate getting my hair wet. it makes me want to scream from the highest of rooftops because love is the utmost best feeling i have ever felt and i am blessed to have loved you and for you to have loved me but i need to move on for both of our sake i am physically and mentally drained and i no longer have time or space for you we loved hard but we also fought hard too moving on is the best possible thing either one of us can do I wish you the very best and I will always carry what we shared with me five years, ten years, even in thirty years when I’m working my dream job, I will think of you and wish you happiness and peace you were my first love but you won’t be my only love and you won’t be my last love because as much as I love you, I love myself more