StomiiBae_VT

The ref

Ages are so hard to solidify in canon, especially because they tend to shift or don't make sense in relation to other characters/events! I'm tracking Jason's age really closely, obviously, because that's the one that's most relevant to the series. I'm also keeping a close eye on Damian's age just because he's growing up, too. I had to pick something for Duke when I introduced him, and so that left me with this general framework:

Bruce: You can’t solve this problem by ignoring it, JayLad.

Jason: Well, you know what? That really fudges my brownie.

Tim: *clutching dislocated shoulder*

Bruce: Hold on *snaps it back in*

Tim: Son of a beachball, that hurt.

Bruce: Dick, do you see what I see?

Dick, stood over a body: Holy guacamole, Batman.

Bruce: No, you stopped doing this. You can just-

Dick: Holy wasted elocution lessons, Batman.

Stephanie: Brothertrucker

Bruce: Steph, honey, give it a rest.

Stephanie: No, Bruce, this entire mission is one big clusterpluck.

Cass: *stubs her toe*

Bruce:

Cass:

Bruce, tired: Don’t. Cass, my dearest daughter, not you too.

Cass: Dagnabbit.

Duke: Hey, B?

Bruce, eyes on the Bat Computer: Yes.

Duke: I almost got mugged in the park and Ace bit the guy right on the flutternutter and-

Bruce, turning: What?

Duke: Well, I had my phone in my hand and I-

Bruce: No, I mean, I'm glad you're OK but what's a fluffernutter?

Duke: His cluck-a-doodle-dongus.

Bruce:

Bruce: Duke, I'm going to need to answer questions when the cops, animal control and the insurance guy comes. Duke you're going to have to explain what you mean.

Duke, who has a perfect month with zero confiscations or citations: I don't want to change my answer.

Damian: Father, you cannot let Grayson out of this house looking like a two dollar streetwalker.

Bruce: Damian, that's-

Damian: I did not swear. I avoided the words on the Google Document you forwarded to us. While strumpet, trollop and tart are not on the list, strumpet seemed too casual, trollop too highbrow and tart would be too much of an insult. Grayson may not have made a smart outfit choice but I know he means well.

Bruce:

Dick: Technically, he's home and dry on this one, Bruce.

Bruce: *wandering off, mumbling to himself*

Dick: *lifting a hand to highfive Damian*

Damian: *eyeing him from head to toe*

I drew Damian with cat socks, y'all better appreciate it because it's the best thing I've ever done. (also they are based on my own cats lol)

Do you think Slenderman and Batman would fist fight eachother for an edgy orphan?

Bruce: hmm no I don’t think so

Dick: omg we are weird

Bruce: what?

Dick: if you think we aren’t weird most likely we are a bunch of weirdos, if we had neighbors they probably avoid us

Bruce: Baby, we aren’t weird, outside our vigilante thing we act like an average family

Dick: you don’t even have experience in average families, omg you turned me weird

Bruce: no, I didn’t

Dick: you raised me, now I’m a weirdo and it’s your fault

Bruce: Dickie, we are not weird and if we were, you already were weird before I took you in

Dick: that’s not true, my parents raised me right

Bruce: Dick, you destroy so many chandeliers and vases, you only wanted to eat cereal and chips, if I didn’t handed you the Robin mantle you will be charged with murder and with social workers you were always edging us with how much will you reveal

Dick: that sounds like normal children stuff, I were an hyperactive lovely boy

Bruce: So you think normal children come with murderous intent

Dick: hey all my siblings are like that! Omg we ARE weird

The reference

Inspired by this image