once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

"ingredients you can pronounce" i can pronounce anything

i have [gestures vaguely] my tendencies

Just dreamt I posted "Pepsi boys chill vs. Coke boys relax" but I clicked edit on the post and stared at the wording for the rest of the dream like something was wrong with it

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

love wearing all black in public i hope no large gaseous heat emitting orb in the sky comes along and makes my day worse

I have been nothing but elusive and difficult to you and this is how you treat me

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

yo bro lets just dillydally later when ur free

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

someone is putting up pictures of me around town and they all say I’m ‘wanted’. which is nice

i actually did draft a bunch of abortion jokes but ultimately decided not to keep them