I'm Still Here.

she who became the sun ( the radiant emperor #1 )  -   shelly parker-chan change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying  tw ;  death , war ,  violence , sexism

‘they say there’s luck in names, and you’ve certainly had luck enough.’

'in my experience, lucky people tend to be the laziest.’

‘where’s the fun in suffering by yourself?’

‘you think you’re that good-looking everyone wants to see you?’

‘desire is the cause of all suffering.’

‘I don’t appreciate being made a puppet for another man’s dirty work.’

‘when I ask myself if future pain is worth it for this life I have now, I always find that it is.’

‘I always knew you had a strong will. but what’s unusual about you is that most strong willed people never understand that will alone isn’t enough to guarantee their survival.’

‘more so than will, survival depends upon an understanding of people and power.’

‘it isn’t strength, but knowledge, that will be our best tool for surviving these difficult times ahead.’

'undoubtedly, chaos brings danger. but there will be opportunities, too.’

‘it’s due to chaos that we’re living through a moment in which even ordinary men can aspire to greatness.’

‘are you going to stab me?’

‘you can’t pray away your fate.’

‘I was merciful. I let you live.’

‘you cause me trouble as well as shame.’

‘you disappoint me.’

‘any power with such comprehensive reach should be understood.’

‘any power with such comprehensive reach should be understood. perhaps especially if they’re on our side.’

‘in my father’s eyes, I’ll always be the failure.’

‘(name) is an easy person to love. the world loves him, and he loves the world, because everything in it has always gone right for him.’

‘you and (name) are two unlike things. don’t fool yourself that he can ever understand you.’

‘I know what it’s like to be humiliated.’

‘any kind of fool can stumble into success once or twice.’

‘you two are such a bad match. can’t you have a single conversation without fighting?’

‘can’t you have a single conversation without fighting?’

‘clever people know when to give in.’

‘if you join his side, you’ll regret it.’

‘how little lives are worth in this war. theirs and ours, both.’

‘you have a lot of feelings in you.’

‘to win a hundred victories, a hundred battles is not the pinnacle of skill. to subdue the enemy without fighting is the pinnacle of skill.’

‘what someone is means nothing about what kind of person they are. truth is in actions.’

‘I didn’t mean to kill. at first.’

‘I wanted to live, so I took a life.’

‘all that means is we have to make this life count.’

‘who did you become, when we were apart?’

‘I might not know you, but I know what you want.’

‘you’ve opened my eyes. there are so many more options than I thought.’

‘you saw something in me that I didn’t know myself.’

‘what kind of man bothers to see potential in a woman, and encourages her despite her own doubts?’

‘rest assured that the only reason I helped you is because it gets me closer to what I want.’

‘you know what’s worse than suffering? not suffering, because you’re not even alive to feel it.’

‘learn to want something for yourself. not what someone says you should want. not what you think you should want.’

‘don’t go through life thinking only of duty. when all we have are these brief spans between our nonexistences, why not make the most of the life you’re living now?’

‘why not make the most of the life you’re living now? the price is worth it.’

‘maybe your suffering is worth whatever it is you want to achieve. but mine wouldn’t be.’

‘that’s all past history. I never think of it.’

‘do you believe that? that one day we’ll be out of a job, because of peace?’

‘have the courage to take power for yourself! do you think it will come to you if you wait?’

‘do you actually believe the idiocy that comes out of your mouth?’

‘you never accepted me for who I am; you never even saw everything I did for you, all because I’m not like (name)!’

‘you always push everyone away. what do you find in it, the loneliness? I couldn’t bear it.’

‘you trust too much. I admire you for it. that you prefer to drawn people closer, rather than push them away. but it’ll get you hurt.’

‘the worst injury you can do to a man is shame him. he can never forget it.’

‘it must have been painful, learning that true wisdom lies in obedience.’

‘are you always thinking do little of me that my defeats seem inevitable?’

‘i’d have thought you’d be the last to cry about (name’s) fate. why can’t we just stand back and let it happen?’

‘so you’re going to save (name) from himself?’

‘and here I thought I was the only one who got manipulated by pretty girls.’

‘why are you lowering yourself by dirtying your hands like this? let someone else take care of this trash.’

‘you were only ever a pretender. you only sat on a pretend throne.’

‘why do we have to play these awful games? what for?’

‘what does anyone want but to be on top, untouchable?’

‘who do you think I am, to think I can make anything happen in my own life? i’m a woman.’

‘I know you don’t want that life. a different one isn’t impossible.’

‘you have something I don’t; you feel for others, even the ones you don’t like.’

‘you want me to believe you’re different. that you can give me something different. but how can I trust that? I can’t.’

‘are you fool enough to believe the future will match your dream of it, with no consideration of the reality of the situation?’

‘I don’t admit anything! I don’t need to! you’ve already made up your mind!’

‘you can’t reason with fools who refuse to see reason.’

‘he was right about you. you’re worthless. worse than that; a curse.’

‘there are people who say that grief will hurt as much as it’s worth.’

‘there are people who say that grief will hurt as much as it’s worth. and there is nothing worth more than a father.’

‘(name) would never put himself on the line for me, or anyone else. but you, you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?’

‘i’ve wanted and struggled and suffered for that fate my whole life. I’m not going to stop now.’

‘you are trouble. I’ve never met anyone more trouble than you,’

‘are you so certain of the possibility of change? it seems to me the outcome is inevitable.’

‘what I want has nothing to do with who wins.’

‘every time the world turns its face from you, know it was because of me.’

‘stop blaming yourself and let yourself want it.’

‘stop blaming yourself and let yourself want it. i’ll give it to you.’

‘I have everything I need. whereas you, — you still need me.’

‘nobody expected anything of me. nobody ever cherished me.’

‘I cherish you.’

‘you think you understand me. but don’t forget it goes both ways. like knows like; like is connected to like. I understand you, too.’

‘pure emotions are the luxury of children and animals.’

‘more fool I am, to hope against hope for a change in his nature, that he might actually try to be useful.’

‘I presume you’re not here to kill me.’

‘you think you have power over me because you know a secret. but you don’t.’

‘how can something like that stop me, destroy me, when nothing else has?’

‘look at me and see the person who will win. the person who will rule.’

‘I presume you realize how much I dislike you. wasn’t the last where I said I wanted to kill you clear enough?’

‘you betray you ignorance in less than a sentence.’

‘how willing you were to think the worst of me. why aren’t you happier? i’m just being who you’ve always though I was. i’m giving you the ending you believed in.’

‘the times and means of our deaths have always been fixed, and this is yours.’

‘even the most shining future, if desired, will have suffering at its heart.’

‘i’ll follow you, as far as you want to go.’

‘I wasn’t born with the promise of greatness either. but I have it now. because I wanted it. because I’m strong, because I’ve struggled and suffered to become the person I need to me, and because I do want needs to be done.’

‘you said you’d be different. you lied to me.’

‘when you did this, did you even stop to think about how it might make me feel to bear witness for what you think is justified?’

‘I want what I want, and sometimes I’m going to have to do certain things to get it.’

*PROMPT : as said by varric.

the days were growing longer whilst simultaneously melding into one another, and time was a very wearing thing on his feeble form. each tock of the clock, every shift the sun made, elicited another chime from the reaper's bell. ianthe had been sparing with her presence as of late. the sovereign came and went as she pleased, most likely cooking together some new plot for whatever grand scheme she had planned ( never bothering to let poor marlowe in on the details, only ever dragging him into the fallout ).

without his great protector there to incite fear in the other folk, the lone merman had been forced into isolation. folded in on himself beneath the shadowy waters of skull rock, marlowe wasted away. days felt like weeks felt like an eternity, and, soon, his bones would be stripped of their porcelain flesh and laid to rest, unrecognizable from the mass that already littered the sea floor.

" If it's within my power and will make you smile, I will happily bring you most anything, " their wings flutter, though they rest on a rock nearby. " What is your desire? " They watch the merman with a shine in their eye, desperate to be helpful. There are very few to care for around these days, few for them to provide their service and feel that fullness in their heart.

books are a way to live a thousand lives, or to find strength in a very long one.

i simply want to be the one who breaks you.

this is how you walk to the end of the world.

dine with me.

was it real to you?

we can't help who we fall in love with.

the more you study, the less you believe in any of it.

time moves so fast.

you are not capable of love.

life always ends too soon.

in the end, everyone wants to be remembered.

were the instants of joy worth the stretches of sorrow?

i didn't think we were serious.

you have no desire to practice.

if you loved me, you would have let me go by now.

you don't know what you'll find until you step outside.

this is how you live forever.

the vexing thing about time is that it's never enough.

how can a thing not be real if it cannot be remembered?

stories are a way to preserve one's self.

love is hungry. love is selfish.

i loved that about them.

everyone else is a mile down the road.

what is a person, if not the marks they leave behind?

i remember you.

take your echoes and pretend they are a voice.

you're such a good friend.

it's easy to stay on the path when the road is straight and the steps are numbered.

i do not want to belong to someone else.

do not mistake this kindness.

take my life when i'm done with it.

time always ends a second before you're ready.

being forgotten is a bit like going mad.

dance with me.

tell me. was any of it real?

you better live a good life.

i just don't see us ending up together.

march is such a fickle month.

it does not seem such a bad word.

i was the night itself.

i am so tired of not having choices.

humans are so ill-equipped for peace.

what could i have done?

you've gotten lost.

cling to every moment until it's gone.

it's not you.

you deserve better.

it's just a storm.

you can have my soul when i don't want it anymore.

i do not want to belong to anyone but myself.

i am stronger than your god and older than your devil.

they say people are like snowflakes, each one unique.

nothing is all good or all bad.

you cannot leave a mark.

i would have lost my mind.

take a drink every time you hear you're not enough.

there is defiance in being a dreamer.

life can feel very long sometimes, but in the end, it goes so fast.

i don't want to lose you.

i set the pieces, and i choose when to play.

we're not on the same page.

blink, and the years fall away like leaves.

life is so much messier than that.

the greatest danger in change is letting the new replace the old.

it's amazing what you can learn when you have the time.

there's just something missing.

be with me.

never pray to the gods that answer after dark.

were the moments of beauty worth the year of pain?

let's stay friends.

i met someone.

it was just so... permanent.

you didn't come.

live long enough, and you learn how to read a person.

if you only walk in other people's steps, you cannot make your own way.

listen to me.

Bare feet padded across the foamy shoreline, making imprints in the cool, damp sand as he walked. His eyes scanned the tangles of rotting driftwood among the fizzy white bubbles and tiny pebbles.

He stopped and took a deep breath, briny sea air filling his nostrils. Even if he didn't find what he was looking for, he couldn't deny it was peaceful here.

The sound of tinkling wind chimes registered on the outskirts of his brain, sticking out amongst the low, crashing waves, and he whirled around to see a familiar ambient glow in the twilight sky.

"Oh, Fletch." He greeted them amicably with a nod of his head. "I thought I heard you." If there was one living being on this entire island that he trusted not to do him harm, it was the smiling fae before him.

"Say -- you haven't seen any string-y stuff around here, have you? Dried dunes, dead seaweed, anything?" Nate demonstrated with a hopeless glance around them that he had been unsuccessful thus far. "I need a new one for my bow." He pulled the bow in question-- a rustic, wooden tool clearly cobbled together from the remains of an old tree--from the strap on his back and held it up, plucking the sagging string that had long since been taut. "It's all stretched out, see? Won't shoot like it used to."

" Ah, " they close the distance between them and Nate's bow, looking over it with a glint in their eye as they analyse every little detail, small hands feeling the wearing wood. " Unfortunately the higher tide tonight is hiding most of the ocean's goodies... But if you come back tomorrow, once it lowers, you're sure to find a lot of seaweed washed up. " They hum.