Misfit

“All the expression drained from his face as I drew nearer. His eyes were wondrously clear. And his mind was opening as Gabrielle's mind had opened, and for one tiny second there flared a moment of us together in the garret, talking and talking as the moon glared on the snow-covered roofs, or walking through the Paris streets, passing the wine back and forth, heads bowed against the first gust of winter rain, and there had been the eternity of growing up and growing old before us, and so much joy even in misery, even in the misery -- the real eternity, the real forever -- the mortal mystery of that. But the moment faded in the shimmering expression on his face.

"Come to me, Nicki," I whispered. I lifted both hands to beckon. "If you want it, you must come..."”

The last thing Lestat sees is perhaps the only true meaning for Nicolas:

“…so much joy even in misery, even in the misery -- the real eternity, the real forever -- the mortal mystery of that…”

There’s what Nicolas *truly* felt during his time with Lestat when they were both mortal. So much joy, even in misery & the only meaning in life he had ever truly felt worth trying to survive for… there, in his & Lestat’s conversation, in their love. The rest of Nicolas’ mind is hopeless. No history. No meaning. No reason. A vast infinity of nothingness. Lestat, the one real thing mortal Nicolas had to cling to. Hope.

“I would have shared anything I possessed with you!”

Unspoken words coming from him of love.

And with this in mind, imagine how Nicki felt when Lestat was torn away from him. Imagine how he felt when he saw him again. Imagine how he felt when he saw Lestat had some secret he’d kept from Nicolas.

So much joy even in misery.

Arkham Knight Scarecrow Concept Painting

ARMAND + 🚬