Ass

the amnesiac man I keep trapped in my basement and keep on a diet of exclusively ice cream has began to realize I am lying about the outside world after I served him the tonight dough and accidentally let him see Jimmy Fallons face on the side of the pint which triggered his memories of his life before I kidnapped him (he went to a live taping once) fuck 🤦‍♀️

"you have the morals of an alley cat" is the most old guy thing biden has ever said by far. it's like an 1820s kind of insult

trump shldve come out as therian in response

she told me things were Jiminy but since then its only been crickets

nobodys paying attention to me so im going to microwave forks and knives

all my haters become interior crocodile alligators when i drive my chevrolet movie theater of success

most americans unknowingly breathe in about 30 to 40 "microburgers" daily