New k1d

The only thing worse to me than saying goodbye to someone on borrowed time is never getting the chance to say it. I was on my way, I was so close to seeing you. But you had to go in peace while you still could and I can’t be angry at that. I’m so angry with myself that I could have made you think I left you. I’m sorry. I am so so sorry. I don’t know where to put this love I have for you. So it seeps out, pours out. But I love you, so very much, I always have and will, and I’ll see you when my time is next.

I feel grief over someone I’ve never met, and so question it as grief. But I know I grieve over knowing that they brought joy without ever knowing they gave it to me, and remind me that everything and everyone moves on, nothing lasts forever in the way it was. The joy is a memory, and soon memories are all we will have. I’m not ready to embrace the thrill of new memories just yet. Grief won’t let me move on just yet, because otherwise, I won’t move on at all. Grief needs to be felt.