i love thinking about my little fictional guy i understand him like no one else can

true crime enthusiasts fuck me up “im a true crime fan” like whats there to be a fan of? police incompetence?

Will I die for you? Yes. Will I turn subtitles off for you? No.

A man on tumblr calling my blog a “pathetic diary”… Bro what do you think tumblr is for. You are a man on a womens website. Worry about that.

This image is now brain roommates with “spinch”

It's important to slap your partner on the ass and say good game after sex. Sportsmanship is a dying virtue.

the authoritarian right’s obsession with not jacking off is the funniest thing ever they’re like monks but racist

beats being a godless degenerate from the left

I had a dream Guy Fieri survived the nuclear apocalypse as a ghoul and roamed the world in a suit of flaming red power armor looking for the wasteland’s greatest diners drive ins and dives

@ymirsbian

@the-mad-scorpio

@mojave-red

This is everything that’s right with the world. 

the sight of men’s tits leaves me feeling weak and restless with lust. i need to be tucked into bed like a victorian woman dying from too little cocaine

every fucking day i think about bruce springsteen pretending to be gay to avoid the draft and the conscription officers were like. “um. yeah, well. anyway, you had a concussion from a motorcycle accident, which means you failed the physical but. uh. thank you. for that.”