today i just (remembers to maintain privacy online) did something really cool. you have to trust me

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

your dashboard is supposed to be at LEAST halfway full of shit you have no context for and fandoms you're not involved in. it is the natural way of the universe

you gotta come to the club man drinks are $18 and were all on our phones googling dog surgery

Give me less "being kind requires zero effort" and more "being kind is worth the effort it takes."