dick grayson age 17 goes running in the wee morning hours trips on a raccoon gets bit real bad by it goes to the ER to get his rabies vaccine and texts everyone he knows like haha only in Nyoo Yawk !! Gets an immediate call from bruce telling him off for not already having his rabies jab which turns into a blowout argument resulting in them ceasing to speak again and his bill is so crazy he cant afford rent on his apartment because hes already broke as fuck and he gets evicted starts to sleep on fire escapes etc but hes already working on a case probably about some ninja cult or some bs and tracks them out to some fuckass state like iowa where he solves his case but can’t actually afford gas to get home and also he doesnt have a home anymore so why even bother and ends up sleeping at a loves upright on his motorcycle which is out of gas because again he is 300 dollars overdrafted and getting worse in fees by the day and going by some name like Archibald or something and feeding this dog which did bite him super bad but he now has his rabies vaccination so hes fine probably please ignore the infection It’s Getting Better but the dog has started resource guarding him and barking whenever someone gets near him and wakes him up also he’s becoming somewhat of a local celebrity like oh yeah thats Archibald he’s my bestie at the loves i give him cigarettes sometimes and he’s living his worst life for like Way too long before there’s some kind of emergency and everyone is like Wait where’s our special guy?? And bruce tries to call him and contact him multiple ways but his phones are variously busted waterlogged run over shot up and out of service due to not paying his bill and ends up calling the titans and is like Um would any of you happen to know where my ward is. And everyone is like WELL WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO KNOW WEATHERBOY and then roy calls him to be like warning your fuckass father figure is trying to blow up your spot and gets the This line has been disconnected message and he’s like. Um.

Gives dick’s titans communicator a ring because while dickie g going dark for 2-4 weeks at a time isnt unusual his phone is typically NOT DISCONNECTED. And dg immediately picks up and is like Hey man !!! What’s Up !! And they wind up having like a 30 minute conversation in the way men often do before roy is like by the way bruce was bothering me and was wondering where youre at and now i’m also wondering where youre at. And dg is like I’m at the loves! Roy voice …is this a code word . I dont know it. Dg voice The gas station. And by this time roy has a suspicion and is like. How long have you been at the loves. Dick grayson voice Have I Told You About This Dog I’ve Been Feeding?

Roy finally manages to fish the information as to which loves he is at out of him after like a GOOD 20 minutes of conversation wherein dg keeps trying to change the subject usually by talking about the dog (which only bit him a little a couple times) or the people he’s been talking to and bumming cigs from and is like WHY ARE YOU IN IOWA “ninja cult” IN IOWA? “Do i look like i’m in charge of where people decide to set up evil communes” and drops the pin in the titans group chat with a demand that one of those quickfooted motherfuckers zip over and grab him and LEAVE THE FUCKING DOG which group chats are a new technology so his several texts do show up out of order. Wally ends up calling roy and roy puts dg on speakerphone and silences wally so wally can hear the insane conversation theyre having about whether or not the dog is of a redeemable character or likes him for anything other than the gas station hot dogs that dick keeps fishing out of the garbage and feeding it and if dick is named archibald now or if that’s the dogs name and if it’s acceptable to name a dog after yourself even if it’s a fake name you’re going by as a cover. And wally is like okay i’ve heard enough and grabs him and donna has to go get his bike and then wally has to go to the loves again the next day because dg keeps trying to climb out the window and go get his dog even though he’s like maybe a minute away from sepsis because that infected bite wound Was Not Getting Better. Wally takes that dog to the ASPCA as it’s actively trying to bite him and there’s now a photo of the flash doing intake for a stray on twitter and a selfie on the aspca’s wall. To this day whenever he’s gone off the deep end (read: in a manic state) the titans refer to it as “he’s at the loves” and if you mention it to DG he’s like I Loved That Fucking Dog Man. I Can’t Believe You Made Me Leave That Dog. With a deep guttural sadness in his voice. When he gets haley roy’s like this isnt like that fucking dog at the loves again is it and dick’s like I LOVED ARCHIBALD. AND NO ITS NOT. but it absolutely is.