okay

Thank you friendo while I have you here can we also talk about how Walt destroys his life because of a shitty intersection of toxic masculinity + ableism (because what he’s trying to avoid, deep down, is that image of his dying father— sick. weak. feminized to Walt in his frailness) and this attitude also affects how he treats Flynn???

Look how Flynn is introduced in the pilot script:

His parents “treat him as if he were able-bodied, which is how he wants it.” It’s true— and at first glance, this is a good thing. Flynn doesn’t want to be babied, he doesn’t want to be offered help at every turn in situations where he knows he can be independent. His parents provide him with a feeling of normalcy, by not over-emphasizing or dramatizing his cerebral palsy. Sometimes he will need help or accommodation, and they provide it for him, but often he won’t, and they won’t mention it. This is the rhythm they have all found, and Flynn likes it that way.

But this approach is deeply flawed. Rather than normalizing Flynn’s disability (which I think is the surface level intention), it erases it, ignores it, attempts to hide it from view and discussion. Which is unsurprisingly pretty similar to how Walt relates to his cancer + treatment. He wants to do everything alone— he banishes Skyler from his chemo sessions, and he hides himself away when he’s having chemo side effects, often locking himself in the bathroom. Walt shapes his life around his cancer in some ways (that whole cooking meth thing), but at the same time, he works hard to hide his illness, ashamed of that feminizing weakness he thinks it gives him.

And what effect does this attitude have on Flynn? Walt’s shame around illness, weakness, and disability— his idea that it’s okay to be sick or disabled, as long as you don’t talk about it? Of course, it makes Flynn feel his father is ashamed of him. And it instills that same reflexive draw towards toxic masculinity in him (think about how he idolizes Hank!).

Consider the scene where Walt is teaching Flynn how to drive (which I recently saw on my rewatch). Where Flynn wants to drive with two feet, and Walt insists he use just one, because he has to get it “right.” He has to be able to drive the same as everyone else, no matter how unintuitive that may be to his body. This conversation obviously makes Flynn feel embarrassed and ashamed. And when Flynn tries to drive the “right” way? He crashes.

This scene hits so hard for me because it’s a very clear case where the method of driving that would work best for Flynn is so clearly viable— there’s really no reason not to let him drive in the way that’s most intuitive and comfortable for him. If Walt were truly normalizing Flynn’s disability, he would let him drive that way with no comment. But that was never Walt’s real attitude towards Flynn’s cerebral palsy. Walt is treating him like he’s able bodied— he’s trying to erase Flynn’s disability. And when that attitude hits the road, it literally crashes. With the added bonus of making Flynn feel like it’s his fault for not having a body that works the “right” way.

^ joke that would have killed in 2011