i see. meows once & detonates

i could be your pet rock. id be very good at it

ive had some time to think and honestly i dont think id be a very good pet rock. i dont know what i was thinking. theres too much anger in me

Ants are always like oh shiit you have a thing? You left your Thing there i've always wanted that. And can all my friends come also

i was speaking with a guy i work with and when leaving i said okay see you monday and he went oh no i wont be in monday. im going bald. and i said ?you're what? and he just repeated im going bald monday. wont be in

update: he didn’t show up on Monday and on Tuesday he was bald

sexually repressed people be like “i have an ancient evil stirring within me. no one can know” and its literally just craving intimacy

love is in the air? WRONG! dragons

i agree with british people when they say fooking ell

imagine a calico cat

now tabby

Slow down I’m still working on the first one

sorry

An ancient letter G is my pet and it has a fever in its big eye