Art and Animation by Stef by Steph

Let’s start with characters.

The main protagonist is Mathilda, with the supporting character of Zane. Then there are the incidental characters Groinly and the Goblins.

Then the cameos.

When we’re introduced to Mathilda, we basically get a monologue that features her complaining about working so hard and dealing with obligations.

This is the audience’s first impression of her, specially for those who haven’t seen the prologue. We feel that the audience wasn’t shown enough for her to be a relatable character with justified complaints.

If they had shown how hard she was really working in the opening shots or at any point before this monologue, it would have been easier to sympathize with her.

As it stands, she just sounds really whiny, bordering on elitist.

The way she talked so poorly about her chores, without any repercussions, lead to some unfortunate implications. It was almost as if the episode was telling us that housekeeping, service jobs and chores are only meant to be done by lesser beings.

That was basically what most of Mathilda’s monologues implied and unrealistically, there was nobody in the show reacting that badly to it.

The fact that NOBODY corrected Mathilda on this line of thinking could send a very wrong message, especially if the target audience for this show is really still children.

In addition to that, the attitude Mathilda showed towards everyday life and her master didn’t come off as appealing. We could see that the writers might have been trying to go for a rebellious, charismatic character, but instead Mathilda came off more like a whiny, immature child.

Which brings us to another point. It’s not exactly clear what age Mathilda is. Her behavior, such as her impatience, disrespectfulness and whining, make her sound like a bratty child aged 12 or under. Maybe a teenager at the oldest. Groinly’s line about child labor also may support the idea that Mathilda is a child.

And with her age, it came off like she was a bad child, rewarded for her bad behavior. She got what she wanted by doing little more than whining and complaining and talking back to her mentor.

On that note, why did she go into the cave if she really didn’t want to? Why is she Groinly’s apprentice if she hates it so much?

We never see WHY she’s his apprentice and why she’s doing those chores. There’s no explanation what it’s all for and it leaves us disconnected with the character. 

It’s so difficult to sympathize with her since there’s just so much telling and not enough showing. We’re TOLD that Mathilda does chores for Groinly but we barely see any of that. We’re TOLD that Mathilda and Zane are friends.

But are they really friends?

More often than not, Mathilda seems irritated with him, and he seems to regularly belittle her.

On that note, why did Zane feel the need to introduce himself at his first appearance at the episode? Does Mathilda regularly forget his name? If it was just an excuse to tell the audience the character’s name, Mathilda just saying it and saying hi would have been simpler and less awkward. It would have come off as a lot less cheesy, too.

Also, it feels like Zane doesn’t really have much importance to the story. He doesn’t contribute to the plot or move any of the action forward, and barely anyone reacts to him anyway, almost as if nobody can see him. It was only really the goblins that interacted with him by beating him up but that wasn’t even onscreen.

And why did Zane join in Mathilda’s cave quest? We don’t know why he’s helping, or if he was required to help or if he’s also Groinly’s apprentice or was he just being a helpful friend accompanying Mathilda? That’s really not clear.

He wasn’t even part of the fight scene.

And in the ending scenes, he was really kind of just there. He didn’t get anything from Groinly for the trouble that went into getting beaten up alongside Mathilda. Zane also wasn’t in the shots of Mathilda doing the other chores. We really aren’t given a solid enough reason to have him there other than as side commentary.

Groinly on the other hand, had some purpose, but also came off very random.

To start with, he seems to be a blacksmith, which makes no sense since Mathilda is a witch. What does she have to gain from apprenticing with a blacksmith? Was she really looking forward to getting a ride made by him? The ending scene implied that she wasn’t expecting that, so what was she expecting to get from working for him?

Also, Groinly was never properly established. His first appearance is at the festival, which was almost halfway through the episode and it’s jarring to see Mathilda complaining to him and revealing he’s her boss, when all this time, the prologue and opening shot implied that the old man whose floor she was cleaning was her boss.

This could have been better foreshadowed and in fact, the story could have revolved around her doing the chores for Groinly instead of her spending those minutes wandering around the festival and making random commentary.

As a whole, the biggest problem really with the way this story was told is that there was too much telling and not enough showing.

Multiple elements weren’t properly built up or established and had jarring introductions. Besides Groinly’s first appearance, there was also Dora’s Banishing Spell we mentioned in Part Two, and then also mentioned above was Mathilda’s chores, which we’re only ever told about and never actually see. Much of the episode was Mathilda monologuing and the audience is expected to just take her word for everything.

This pilot episode was more of a backstory episode for Mathilda than anything else. It tried to establish her status quo before she went to the tournament and tried to show us how she got there, but it hardly gave any importance to things we feel should have had more importance.

For a backstory/character establishing episode for Mathilda, we hardly saw the real struggles Mathilda faced with her apprenticeship, we never saw how much she was looking forward to going to the tournament until the speech about it in the festival, which was more about the heroes anyway. We didn’t even know she WANTED to go to the tournament since all her monologues were either about her chores or the festival. The episode really could have focused more on Mathilda’s apprenticeship and journey to get to the tournament but instead the focal point of the episode was the festival (and to a certain extent, the cave with the goblins).

The late introduction of the tournament place (so much so that it’s just a post-credits shot) even downplays the importance of it when it’s supposed to trigger the start of the series proper.

And the storytelling was really vague about the Excelsior thing. We’re not sure how the village festival relates to the Excelsior Battle Tournament, which one Mathilda was really looking forward to, why she was ranting about missing it (or was she ranting about missing the festival) if she could still catch up, IF she got to catch up since her whole rant made it sound like it was over and she couldn’t catch up anymore.

There were just too many disconnected elements and unanswered questions.

And if the Excelsior Battle Tournament is such a big deal, why were the heroes she described all cameo characters instead of actual hero characters in that actual world? The mention of actual heroes would have made the story more intriguing and engaging because instead of being curious about who those names were, the audience is either rolling their eyes or smirking about cameo characters they recognized.

Overall, there were way too many cameos in this episode, to the point where it almost felt like a spoof cartoon or at most a satire of some sort than an actual original story.

For a story that was being marketed as a show that would be on parr with My Little Pony, it was disappointing to see cameo and reference galore instead. It all pulled away the sense of originality from the show.

And at this point, we’re not sure anymore what the target audience for this show is since we thought all this time it was supposed to be for kids. Instead, we’ve gotten a couple of inappropriate jokes better suited for teens and up, and an abundance of references and cameos that felt like this was more of a show for the showrunners’ circle of friends and people of similar fandoms and interests.

We see the potential that might have been had for a good story about an ambitious girl who wants to be the best that she can be and make a name for herself in a magical world. Anyone could relate to that feeling of wanting to breakout of their status quo and do something amazing and be recognized.

We see the story this could be about a group of six friends trying to stand out from the crowd.

There is so much potential here, and we just want to see this show be the best that it can be and rise above mediocrity.

The world was interesting enough, the varied races could have been fascinating to see if they just matched styles more. There are some witty lines that could be found in the clutter of filler dialogue. The design of Mathilda is pretty appealing, and it’s nice to see her moving and coming to life.

This was a project we understand has been working hard and clawing its way upwards and the last thing we want to do is pull it down.

We want this project to succeed and we hope to see it succeed. We’re more than willing to offer advice and critique during actual production (instead of after the episode is already out) if any of the showrunners were to be interested in that.

Our industry right now is so small and we can only succeed if we’re helping to nudge each other up or pull each other up. We hope we didn’t rub people the wrong way too badly with this review, and if we did, here’s a little piece of fanart because we’re still fans of this project, in our own way.

Zane either has no face or is facing backwards in the first pose. It’s not very clear. Animations for him are otherwise pretty good though. Like we still have the same comments to make on line weight and overshoot, but otherwise, we quite like how he moves and zips about all over the place. It’s nicely dynamic.

As an opening shot to a new environment, it’s not wide enough to really show that it’s a new place. Plus a much wider shot would really help to give off a more festive feel.

The Antler girl’s looping laugh in the foreground is a bit awkward. It could be refined more.

While the background is mostly okay, we’d just like to point out that the bear guy’s shadow overlaps the bush next to him in a way that makes the bush look flat. Masking on that could be refined.

The pan of the foreground elements could be refined or taken out since it jarrs with everything else when it suddenly stops but the background elements are still panning.

There are quite a few line inconsistencies. For example, the girlscout with braids has very thick lines, which shouldn’t be the case since she’s almost on the same plane as Mathilda (and is actually even just a bit further from the viewer). So she should actually have thinner lines. On that note, popsicle lady could also benefit from thinner lines.

The red potions are really nice and detailed... but they’re a little too detailed compared to most of the background? Unless they’re meant to be a very significant part of the show later on?

Also, the ham/meat thing Mathilda’s holding in this scene comes off a bit random, when it already has a fairly decent introduction in Mathilda’s closer shot later on when she munches on it. Because with this arrangement, it kind of appears in her hand a little randomly, and it’s odd that she’d just be walking around just holding it without eating it.

Also, her feet are sliding when she walks, but this could get away under the “style” blanket of very limited animation, so we won’t get into it too much unless it’s noticeably jarring.

We liked though how the pan followed Zane. It was slow at first, then shot sideways after Zane when he whizzed over to the other side.

Also still same nice whizzing effects, and we like how he’s so excitable and everywhere. It could still benefit from some overshoots and breakdowns, but it’s still nice to see how he moves about.

and we like that frappe thing that frogman drinks

A more dynamic perspective might have made a better transition for this shot. We see that they were trying to go for showing more depth and world, and maybe show a bit of time passing as Mathilda wanders around the festival grounds. It’s really just that a more dynamic shot would have helped.

As it is, the houses, forest and mountains don’t quite seem so far from each other. It’s almost like they’re on very close planes to each other.

And there’s another gradient on the trees that doesn’t quite show up regularly on other backgrounds.

There’s an odd gradient again with the background trees. The trunks crop awkwardly too. But it’s not so noticeable since Mathilda’s position at the center dominates the viewer’s attention anyway.

The meat is mostly okay when she bites it, it’s just that there’s a frame where it jitters. Also they should be more careful with the characters’ joints. Here, Mathilda’s elbow doesn’t connect properly. It happens a few times as she moves the meat around.

Her nose doesn’t need to move with her mouth.

Mathilda’s dialogue is also very difficult to understand when she’s chewing. It could make sense to be distorted since she’s chewing, but it would have been better if it hadn’t been so muffled. If the volume stayed the same, maybe it would have been easier to catch what she was trying to say because neither of us can figure out what it was until now.

On that note, we would advice against comments and dialogue that don’t add to the story or reveal anything about the character. If it’s dialogue that doesn’t need to be heard, then it doesn’t need to be included. This is a story that is being made to fit into an 11-13 minute time frame and professionally produced episodes of these lengths are very careful and particular about what dialogue and jokes stay, and what goes because time is precious and every second of the episode has to have something to add to the characters or to the episode’s storyline.

In discussing the episode with colleagues and friends, some of them commented on the sound design and gave this shot as an example, saying that it would have helped if we could hear her chewing, and also in the cave scenes later on, ambient sounds, echoes and the sounds of the river would have been good. We won’t comment so much on sound design other than this bulletpoint because we don’t feel competent enough in that field to properly discuss it, but we thought the issue was at least worth a mention.

also the princess’s veil thing is flowing with wind that isn't affecting anything else (like the streamers or Mathilda’s hair)

mostly okay, but she’s moving a bit slower than usual, so the sliding of her feet is more noticeable in this scene. It’s otherwise okay though.

Some colors of the background (like the grass) don’t match up to the previous shots. The grass here is a lot greyer than the yellow-greenish color in the other backgrounds. Also there seems to be some brush strokes and shading on it that don’t match the overall style.

Or is this a different location? That could be made clearer.

That tent/background was in a previous shot, would that mean she’s been just going around the festival in circles?

The soldiers’ line thickness is very off in comparison to everyone else.

Anime girl’s level of detail doesn’t fit the overall style/level of detail of the rest of the show.

We would recommend having a character lineup, that way line quality and level of detail can be kept consistent. It would also make it easier to see which characters should be adjusted to fit the overall style of the show.

perspective could be adjusted a bit, looks a little off

cat lady and cat looked cute though :3

The background here doesn’t hookup with the previous shot. Earlier she was walking down what seems like a path, with mountains and sky behind her. Here there’s suddenly a building behind her and she’s in more of square than a path.

The gnome getting high at the back was funny though.

We think more acting in this shot, or at least a take would have registered better and put more emphasis and importance in whatever shocked her.

There’s an odd painterly style to the castle/building that seems inconsistent with the overall background style.

Composition for this shot is decent though, we see how it was meant to give off a grand feel to the Excelsior poster

That’s a really nice poster design. It’s got beautiful color composition, plus the layout and graphic design are nice. The only thing really is the tangent between the tip of the hero’s foot and the man’s finger, but that’s such a minor issue on an otherwise very nice poster.

This doesn’t hookup with the previous shot’s shocked face.

It could also use a bit more acting.

There was an awkward cut here. The previous scene was slowly zooming in on her face, then this one suddenly cut down to her torso and started panning up. This probably would have flowed more smoothly as a continuous shot.

It also could have used more acting, but the arm movements and sparkly eyes were a really good step in the right direction.

The nose doesn’t need to move with her mouth.

Lipsync is a little off, but it’s not too jarring.

There were also some decent poses when the shot tracked out, they just could have used more breakdowns and overshoots overall.

For the “skill” monologue, we feel the Smash Brothers references took away from the originality of the show. We’ll address references and cameos further later in the upcoming third part of our review.

Zane saying “Did you say skill twice” was funny though.

Same comments really on breakdowns and stuff, but there are some nice poses here though. The idea is there, we just think more could be built around the decent foundation they’ve already got with their poses.

We really like the smear tricks they’ve been using, and it could really work, but it has a tendency to get overused sometimes. Breakdowns instead of smears also would have brought an extra level of quality to some of the slower arm movements.

The blur during her shock wasn’t so necessary since she didn’t really move, unless there was a notable difference between her shocked pose and her preceding pose.

The overshoot of her eyes and the bulging and subtle animations of them were good.

This face is gold. Also the overall “Nooooo!” part was funny. The camera shake was a nice touch.

We don’t understand what his arm is supposed to be doing. Animation here could be better and clearer.

This guy’s character design is just very messy and unappealing. It also has some unclosed lines and unnecessary jagged corners. It could have been refined more and feels very rushed.

The drinking dude in the background has an arm that gets BADLY disconnected for several frames, then snaps into place

It’s not clear why Mathilda is facing sideways here.

Groinly could have been in this shot so that it’s clearer where he is. Because as it is, they even seem to be standing on the same spot since they’re using the same background.

He really needs a better library. His eyes are inconsistent and unappealing with how twitchy they are.

His right hand also looks really weird.

Mathilda is suddenly in front of a different background and it’s not clear why.

His hair cuts his shoulder awkwardly

Her shoulder disconnects here.

It would have been a funny joke, and we see what they were trying to do here, but it seems to be paced too long.

Overall, the whole Mathilda and Groinly sequence could have benefited from proper layout. There were no shots establishing where they were in relation to each other and the overall festival. For previous shots, before the start of the Groinly sequence, Mathilda has her back facing the house, the drinking guys, the gnome, etc.

Then there’s a shot where she’s facing them.

Then the rest of the sequence has her facing away from them. Groinly is placed on the same background, and seems to be placed exactly where Mathilda is.

Overall, this just really needed layout and establishing shots. It also would have really shown how big Groinly is compared to Mathilda since throughout the episode, we never really see them at a good wideshot together where we can see their size difference. The framing for Groinly does hint at his size, but without a reference point, we can never really be sure.

And that’s about all we’ve got to say for the festival sequence. Now let’s move on to the cave sequence.

We’re seeing pretty good layout and background here. The only comment really is to adjust the values a bit more. Mathilda and Zane could have a darker palette since they’re inside the cave now. The foreground stalagmite could be a darker value to add more depth and visually separate it from the cave wall.

Other than that, this is a really nice shot. Nice composition, nice background, very nice.

Careful with those shoulder joints.

The mom joke was funny to us, but it makes us question this show’s actual target audience since we thought this was for kids.

This is a nice wide shot. It hooks up very well with the previous cave shots and it gives us a feel for the size of the cave, where Mathilda and Zane are and how deep into it they’re going.

Foreground values could have been adjusted a bit to show depth better, but it’s otherwise a really good job. They did very well here.

This is another beautiful shot.

It gives off this sense of isolation in that place, nicely shows how high up the bridge is and really gets us feeling like she’s exploring this big alien place.

We loved the subtle pan too, that really added some more depth to the scene.

The subtle animation of Mathilda’s turn and walk was done very well, too.

The river animation was a nice touch.

The map/notes didn’t have a proper introduction and came off really random. It would have made more sense for Zane to bring it out earlier, like maybe when they were still at the cave entrance. 

It was also really hard understand what Zane was saying here, which is bad because he seemed to have been giving important information on their quest? We’re really not sure.

Zane’s positioning here doesn’t hook up to the previous scene.

The paper is gone?

And when he turned around, he seemed a little off model.

Nice background. The glowing crystals were a nice touch.

Zane’s position also doesn’t hook up with the previous shot since they were getting further and further away from each other in the previous scene, now he’s right next to her again.

There also seems to be a missing frame or two towards the end of the walk and it made her legs pop, but it’s not too jarring.

Mathilda’s expression doesn’t hookup with the previous shot.

The background doesn’t quite hookup either. The stalagmites behind her in the previous shot are gone in this shot.

The trolls don’t have ground shadows.

The composition could have been refined more. The Goblin King’s throne in the middle is not clear and shouldn’t be at the center of the frame like that, pointing away from Mathilda and towards the cave entrance. (Unless that was supposed to foreshadow that she should leave? We’re not sure)

Also if that’s the Goblin King’s throne, we should be seeing hints of his shoulders and head at least.

The undies and trinkets all over the place was a nice touch though.

His arms could have been relaxed a bit more to show he’s sleeping, because here it looks like he’s standing in a ready-to-fight pose.

The subtle breathing was okay though. It’s really just the pose that could have been done better.

There were a few frames of line inconsistency on Mathilda’s hair

The animation of her arm was a nice effort, but it could have been refined more.

We also liked the tension-building shots as Mathilda reached for the star.

The animation here was really good compared to everything else we’ve seen in this episode. We even wish we saw more of this for the whole episode.

Her feet could have been grounded better, but it’s not too bad

The sudden game style came in out of the blue though since it wasn’t at all established earlier on.

This was so random.

The tripping animation could have been done better.

Secondary animation of her hat floating down after her was decent effort though.

Her shoulder cuts her hair awkwardly.

Mathilda was never established as even remotely clumsy so her tripping seemed very random and it felt like just an excuse to get the trolls awake and trigger the fight scene.

We only ever see the raised platform of the throne here. All the previous shots suggested it was on the same ground as the other sleeping trolls.

If she HAD to have tripped, there could have been some foreshadowing, maybe of her stumbling or being careful about stepping onto the platform, or even something as simple as a closeup shot of her feet taking that elevated step.

This wasn’t TOO random since we got the Zelda reference established the other shot ago, but we still feel that this was unnecessary and it took away from the tension of the impending fight scene

She was eager to try out a new spell that we never knew she had been all this time looking forward to trying. This could have been better established.

Suddenly, the brush strokes are very different, Mathilda is very off-model and in a very different style.

There are a lot of lines that aren’t properly closed or cleaned up.

Also the rocks that burst out when she jumps didn’t really match most of the background elements previously established.

Also if the pre-fight shots were like the start of a game, why was majority of the fight cinematic?

They’re also suddenly not using the same models/symbols.

The effects are nice though.

The light from her hands clash with the shadows under her hat.

Good anticipation pose, just could have used more in-betweens getting to it.

Her hands aren’t hooking up to the previous shot where they were already glowing.

The lack of cleanup is really jarring.

The effects animation here were good though.

The Goblin King’s hand gains volume at the end of the swipe. Also his feet are sliding.

We appreciate though the breakdowns and follow through animation here.

This was a pretty nice shot, all things considered. The dynamic pan upwards was done very well and we applaud background and animation on it. Great job too on the effects animation, it really added to the scene.

The glowing orbs cast light on her torso but not on her shadowed eyes. She’s even more noticeably off model here.

This also lacked breakdown poses.

Issues with animation, background and storytelling aside, we really have to applaud how they never really go wrong with their effects animation. 

These were really nice effects, but the goblin crowd don’t quite hookup with the previous shots since the Goblin King was alone in all the previous shots?

We like how the goblin king’s pose hooks up, but we can’t help noticing how the presence/absence of the crowd behind him doesn’t.

This scene had some really nice effects and decent composition. And the dramatic zoom out was nice.

It’s really just the messy lines and off-model Mathilda that we found very jarring.

Composition here could have been done better.

The crowd seems so small here compared to the previous shots.

The goblins look so jarringly off-model.

Effects are still nice at least.

We like how this shot added to the tension.

Suddenly, everyone is on-model again.

Was there a reason for the change in style for the whole fight scene? Is this a reference to something or was it just a different animator assigned to those scenes?

If the issue was that the animation for the fight scene was 2d paperless while the overall episode was cutout, we don’t believe that would be valid grounds for allowing the scenes to pass off-model. We’ve experienced working for a show that was both cutout and paperless. Half the studio was working on the cutout scenes and episodes, while the other half was working on it paperless. We were among the animators working on the paperless episodes and the directors were particular about maintaining the animation style and models of all the characters.

Composition here could have been done better.

The Dora reference was unnecessary and came off very awkward.

We appreciate the anti-climactic end to the fight they were going for, but the Dora reference just ruined it for us.

Also, “Snatcher no snatching” makes no sense since she was the one who snatched the Star Ruby.

This was a nice enough background shot.

The glow was a bit awkward, but the chimney smoke was a nice touch.

Nice touch showing damage on them from the fight.

This doesn’t hook up with the previous shot at all.

The chair is gone, the damage to her clothes and skin are gone, she’s standing instead of sitting, there’s a post in the foreground that isn’t there in the previous shot, etc.

We’re not sure why she’s making a fuss about missing the festival when she already got to hang around and eat there already earlier.

The poses and animation in this shot were really awkward.

Layout could be adjusted to match the fall better, but this was otherwise okay.

Her getting hit by the stick was pretty funny and satisfying, actually.

Maybe we’d just recommend cutting the shot sooner so her fall can be better felt.

It’s not that clear where her hat and stick are, maybe layout could have been adjusted to reflect that more clearly, but this was otherwise okay.

Nice work with laying this out as Mathilda’s point of view.

It also serves well to make Groinly look bigger.

Suddenly her hat is back? And she seems to be sitting up now.

We like the design of this thing.

This had a decently animated laugh.

This was a good try at a perspective shot, but it’s off since the characters look like they’re not following the same perspective.

Size comparison between them also isn’t very clear here.

The background here was nice, and this is overall a pretty good shot. The subtle pan of the elements added a nice feeling of depth to the scene.

This is a beautiful shot and those cloud designs really appealed to us.

Weee’re not quite sure what her hands are supposed to be doing though? It’s not very clear.

And our review of the animation, art and overall technical aspects of the episode comes to a close.

We see that a lot of effort was put into this episode, we admire the ambitions the showrunners have for trying to produce a show that may one day compete with My Little Pony (or maybe even the Powerpuff Girls), and we’re aware of how so many people look up to this project and are inspired by this steadily growing success story.

And for all our critical eyes on this project, we do want it to succeed. We know how small this industry is right now, and we know that pulling each other down pulls the whole industry down.

Our intention here is not to pick a fight or tear this project apart. It’s to challenge them to raise their standards and produce professional quality work and meet the excitement and expectation they’ve been building up.

In the final part of our long review, we’ll talk about the story, the characters, the originality and the unfortunate implications in this episode, then conclude with a bit of an afterword.