Unapologetic Jane Doe Obsesser

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Disclaimer!!: Everything I say in this essay is purely speculation and theorizing. This is simply my interpretation of how the events may have unfolded. You may also notice that i wrote as if i were an investigator on the case. This is cause I was in a silly goofy mood. I also used little to no science to back up my theory, cause that got very boring very quickly, and I am writing this for fun. Without further Ado, enjoy.

          On September 14, at 6:17 pm, six teenagers in Uranium City, Saskatchewan boarded the Cyclone, a thrilling roller coaster. At 6:19 pm, they were derailed from the apex of the loop, meeting their bitter ends. Who could have known that the the front axle would break when it did? Who could have known the children’s injuries would be fatal? I aim to find out,

          First I’d like to discuss the coaster itself. The Cyclone coaster was a coaster of wooden construction, similar to many other coasters of the era (many of which are also named ‘The Cyclone’). Normally wooden coasters, especially ones of old age, do not contain loops. It is nearly physically impossible, in fact. But lo and behold, this fair found a a way. Seen only once before on the Son Of Beast coaster at King’s Island, this coaster had a steel framed vertical loop inserted into it’s structure. Due in part to the original track’s age, and in part because of the quickness with which this cash-grabbing loop was constructed, it could not have been terribly stable.

          Another part of the coaster worth examining is the cart, as that contains the part that ultimately caused these victim’s untimely demise. The Cyclone’s carriage is made up of two parts joined in the middle. Each section seats six people with three rows of two. The St. Cassian Choir sat in the front of these two carts, leaving the other completely empty. The vehicle derailed itself at the apex of the aforementioned loop after the front axle broke. Given the timing of this break, coupled with the quality of this loop insertion, it is my belief that the hardware for the carriage was worn down each time it switched from wood to steel.

          Onto the victims.

          It’s important for us to note the order in which the victims were seated, as their positions at the time of the derailment would affect the trajectory of their fall and their injuries sustained. From left to right in each row, front to back; Constance Blackwood and Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg, Noel Gruber and MIscha Bachinski, and Ricky Potts. The final victim, known as Jane Doe, was decapitated during the accident, and so her identity remains unknown. Each victim is understood to be of average weight and height, with the exception of Ricky. Potts suffered from a rare degenerative disease that greatly affected his size.

          Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg, seated in the front right-hand seat, was said to be the most apprehensive about boarding the ride according to witnesses. Luckily for her, she received minimal injuries, despite the unfortunate condition of death. Since she was sitting in the front row she would have been experiencing less g-force than those in the back rows, and wouldn’t have hit the surrounding track with as much velocity. Its likely she fell almost straight down, hitting the track below. I theorize she was struck in the torso (the largest part of the body), and most likely broke a few ribs, experiencing lung puncture and cardiac seizure, possibly as well as a broken spine. All of these injuries compounded would have led to a near immediate death. This means she experienced minimal pain in the moments before her death, but most likely still experienced great amounts of shock and fear. 

          Constance Blackwood, sitting to Ocean’s left, sustained injuries similar too, but not exactly like, Ms. Rosenburg. Because she would have been slightly to the left of Ocean, I believe she also would have been slightly off center to the track. She may have hit one part of the track first, breaking a limb or two, before hitting a second part of the track and sustaining further injuries. Ultimately, she too would suffer cardiac seizure, as it is the most common cause of death from falling. She was heard laughing as she fell. 

         Those in the second row would experience slightly worse injuries than those in the front. They would be experiencing more g’s as they were propelled from the ride. Mischa, sitting directly behind Ocean, would have almost entirely bypassed the track. Keyword, almost. Mischa would have hit the track, sustaining a massive head trauma and possibly a broken neck, before landing on the ground beside the coaster. While you would think a head trauma would kill him instantaneously, he would have been alive and alert for at least a little bit before succumbing. He probably wouldn’t have been able to move, both from deficits due to brain injuries and shock. 

         Noel Gruber, the most romantic boy in town, his violent delights had a violent end. We’ll keep it short and simple; Noel had direct impact with the track, but flipped midair. His legs absorbed the impact, breaking immediately. The bones punctured his torso and shredded his organs.

        Ricky Potts was sitting behind Noel Gruber, the right hand side of the cart. Ricky would have experienced some of the absolute worst injuries, for many different reasons. First, Ricky is in the back row. He would be experiencing the most g-force, flung with the most velocity from the vehicle. Secondly, Ricky has a rare degenerative bone disease. He would be smaller than the rest, and much more fragile. Ricky flew the farthest, the hardest, and didn’t have the bones to withstand that kind of force. He flew past the loop, straight towards the ground, where nearly every bone in his body was broken. He may have experienced internal bleeding, brain swelling and bleeding, and any plethora of cardiac issues compounded by his condition.

         The sixth victim experienced the worst injury of all. Complete and total decapitation. Her head was never recovered. Not much is known about her, as we were unable to identify her. She was sitting next to Potts and behind Bachinski. She flew with a similar trajectory to Mr. Potts, but collided with the loop rather than passing it by. It is believed she struck a support just so that it tore her head from her body, possibly destroying the head in the process.