star light, star bright. ★

    —— TOGETHER WE CAN BURN SO BRIGHT !     independent, semi-selective multi-muse roleplay blog     wished upon by ASH (21+, he/him) est 1/18/21

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INDEFINITELY INACTIVE!

between my job, artistic aspirations and living life to the fullest now that i’ve escaped the environment that kept me from doing everything i really wanted with my time, it just isn’t happening. each time things get hectic and i have to put stuff on hold here, which is quite frequent, many who formerly expressed interest understandably lose it, making it more and more difficult to recover each time life carries me away. constant delays are not something i want to put myself or potential partners through! that’s not respectful of my own time or theirs. and this isn’t even to mention all of the uncomfortable ideology floating through public rp scenes of late. so from here on out, my focus will be exclusively reserved for private writing with folks i’ve already been developing plots with for over a decade now and closed groups such as servers, forums, etc!

these blogs will not be deleted! they’ll remain in tact and i may even pop my head in from time to time! i also intend to keep running my RESOURCE HUB. but consider this an announcement of permanent inactivity unless otherwise stated.

thanks for everything! please take care out there! }

          “  Don’t gotta tell me twice! Ya best not be liftin’ a finger til you’re better though or you’re gonna have to deal with me.  “

“  Now that ya got your own place, what’cha gonna do with it? Rhyme talks about adding personal touches to make it like your space for when you need to chill.  “

Once the boxes were set in the location Beat deemed to be their new spot for the time being, he brings his hands together and cracks his knuckles as if to solidify that his statement had been both a threat and a promise.

“  You a mind reader? I was just thinking ‘bout food, yo.  “

Like clockwork, the moment that eating had been mentioned, his stomach responded with a loud growl that the whole complex could probably hear if they’d been listening hard enough and summons a fit of laughter from the blonde.

    “Might need to come up with something else to threaten me with. Last time I checked, I was already dealing with you.”

    Though he says this with just about as much fondness as his heart can muster, Neku’s snark still has its hayday.

    “Not sure. This was all pretty sudden,” the man muses, idly glancing in the direction of each empty wall. “It’d be nice to have a corner reserved for art stuff, but I guess that’s gonna depend upon how much room is left over once the bed and couch find their way here from...” His phone is consulted for up to date tracking information, the contents of which have him squinting. “Huh. Guess they’re in Kansai now.”

    Before he can ruminate too deeply upon why those very expensive furniture items are being shipped in the polar opposite direction of his geographic location, Beat’s stomach interjects, responding to the prospect of a meal in kind—and loudly, at that.

The air feels so heavy now. His question no doubt being a major contributor. After all, such questions should never be taken lightly and despite his bitterness and hatred towards a world that has long since abandoned him sitting in the pit of his stomach, he found himself practically hanging onto every single sound she makes. Even going so far as to listen to her breath above all other noise, a feat capable by not only her, but him as well. A secret that If things went his way and lined up perfectly, he’d take to his grave.

And when she finally does speak, he gave her his complete and undivided attention even if he appeared despondent. At first he merely stared at her, a single brow raising slowly to prompt her to continue. Yet despite his his blank expression, inside he was trembling. What will she say? It’s so strange, how much value he placed in her opinion. A fear gripped his chest, a fear that she would say something he couldn’t bear to hear and seal his fate. If Colette couldn’t give him a reason- What hope is there for him?

What she said instead, almost makes the dam shatter completely.

Maybe her observation was not meant to be so pointed but it still feels like a blade slipping in between his ribs. A lump formed in his throat and he blinked away a tear or two forming in his eye, looking down to the ground. Frightening doesn’t begin to describe it. It’s utterly terrifying and lonely and oh so very dark. But that was then. This is now. The drowning misery has been replaced with acceptance and apathy.

If there’s a hand reaching down to pull him up, would he even see it?

“Sad…” It takes a moment for him to steady his voice. “Sometimes I wonder if the worlds failed us, or we failed them.” With a breath, he looked back up with a terribly forced grin. “Ha, sorry for the loaded questions! That wasn’t like me at all, huh? All this adventuring must really be tiring me out! It’s late anyway, fire’s almost out too. Guess we should hit the sack! Another long day of fixing things tomorrow, yeah?”

But he, himself, had yet to make any indication to leave.

    The weightiness isn’t a sensation Colette shares. It feels more to her as if a pocket of air around them is stuck still, motionless in anticipation of even the slightest creak along the staircases inside their hearts. What will it glean, she wonders, from each fault in the aged mahogany? Would it want for an explanation as to why the steps themselves are fashioned from coffins?

    Try as Zelos might to mask his pain, it couldn’t be more transparent to a body that walks in the same worried pair of shoes. Far be it from one chosen to call another out on their diversions—or cast judgment upon the nagging need to cast them, for that matter—but there is something Colette could do instead. As a matter of fact, she may very well be the only one alive who can.

    Their paths were meant to be walked alone by design. A design that, with the use of the rheiards, has been altered irrevocably.

    Regardless of what fate has in store for them in the end, why shouldn’t they make the most of that in the now?

    “You’re right. The Professor will be upset if we doze off during one of her lectures.” A melancholy smile can be seen forming in the dying light. “Even so... would you stay up with me? Just a little longer?”

    Without awaiting her companion’s response, Colette puts the sort of vulnerability typically only reserved for Lloyd on ready display, scooting close enough to delicately rest her head against his shoulder.

@armatization​​ said: ❝   “promise me you won’t go looking for work in unsavory places.” ;; Makoto @ Akira c:”   ❞ ★⚟ addressing the elephant in the room sentence starters.

    “Well... if that’s your expectation, then who am I to disappoint?”

    Akira ceases spinning a pen on the bar table and commits fully to his play, smirking coyly for good measure. Then, in what little time it takes for the news anchor on TV to complete their scripted thought, his body language shifts back to something far more neutral, chin coming to rest in a waiting palm.

 just  as  he  is  ready  to  go  on  an  exuberant  march,  he  stops  and  turns  to  stare  at  colette  with  wide  eyes.  “ oh,  damn.  you’re  absolutely  right,  colette. ”  the  swordsman  exclaims  suddenly,  and  he  prays  zelos  never  finds  out  that  lloyd  almost  would  have  forgotten  to  visit  him.  the  nagging  wouldn’t  stop  for  years.  with  the  same  hold  on  her  hand  that  has  never  faltered,  he  begins  to  walk  once  more,  this  time  waiting  for  her  to  move  alongside  him.  “ don’t  tell  him  that  i  nearly  left  without  saying  hello. ”  his  speech  suddenly  becomes  quiet,  as  if  he  is  divulging  a  great  secret.

Xigbar found himself stumped for how to react to Kairi’s gratitude, he had grown so accustomed to his thankless role that having someone appreciate even the smallest kindness was utterly baffling. Even more baffling was when Kairi said his name was ‘beautiful’, just what was he supposed to say to that?

“It’s just a name.” He blurted, turning his attention back to the fairytale books he had gathered to study, “Although, if you’re that eager to return the favor, I suppose there is something you can do.”

He flipped the page in the book and found the exact tale he was looking for.

“I doubt you remember, but Renata used to tell this story all the time,” Xigbar said, holding the book up for Kairi to see, “It’s the story of Light and Darkness. This version is just a fairy tale, but there’s evidence to suggest it was based on a real event…”

Said evidence being Xigbar’s own memory, although after so long he had forgotten some details. “I’ve been researching this event, myths, fairy tales, even collected a few records that may be eye witness accounts. It never hurts to have another set of eyes helping out, if you don’t mind.”

That was assuming that Kairi had access to resources that Xigbar did not, although as a new wielder, it would be beneficial for her to learn the history of the Keyblade by any means she could.

    Even with his features predominantly concealed, it’s plain for Kairi to see that the words she imparted have given Luxu pause. As for exactly why that is, her genuine guess would be as good as anyone else’s. It won’t be passing the threshold between mind and matter. Her agenda isn’t to pry. Not here or now.

    She will tease, however. Such is the princess’s nature.

    “You didn’t strike me as the bashful type.”

    A silly little smirk endures for mere moments, as the prospect of returning an impossibly meaningful favor so very soon stakes claim to priority. Then, upon the mention of a tale whose contents may as well be engraved onto her soul itself, there comes a flood of memories, not nearly as repressed as she’s long since made a disgusting habit of letting on.

    “I...” Beneath their table, thumb pads worry at the edges of a skirt. Above it, a girl’s somber gaze lowers. “It’s hazy.” The untruth is alive and well. Perhaps it will only die when Kairi utters her last. “But that’s okay. I’ll be a better fresh set of eyes this way.”

    Perking up takes more than a bit of effort, but she’s nothing if not willing to expend it.

It’s always such a delight – seeing that thinly veiled irritation shoot its daggers from tired eyes and a very exhausted Neku. Joshua does little to hide the way he grins to himself – even less when he chuckles quietly to himself. “ A very astute observation, dear partner, “ comes the easy sigh of his voice – a finger twirling into a loose strand of hair, “ but I don’t think you considered the very important fact thaaat… I kind of don’t care. “ A chuckle now, as fingers card through the hair in the end – Joshua’s hand settling on his hip.

Eyes trail in a slow crawl down to the open text book – lidding with idle interest as they take in the cup of coffee once more. Context whittles down the narratives, and Joshua’s eyes shine when they find Neku’s once more – ever-so elusive in intention.

     “ In any case, seeing as you’re not busy at all, I’ve a proposition to make – if you’re willing to hear it, “ a refusal in elaboration – the curl of Joshua’s grin something expectant. 

    “Trust me. I did consider that. First thing. Just figured I’d cut to the chase and waste my breath already.”

    The man’s own sigh comes easy, just like beats of well worn sarcasm. Ordinarily, this would be the best time to offer his company a seat. Shibuya’s Composer—a special case in just as many regards that are fond as there are belligerent—will receive no such courtesy. After all, he never affords Neku the courtesy of some quick text to indicate his presence within the neighborhood.

    A tired thumbpad is licked. Forty-two densely formatted pages are turned. Unintelligible notes shuffle. Not once does Neku grant Joshua the satisfaction of overtly publicizing any stoked curiosity. The way his navy blues have shifted two hues brighter must be doing enough of that unbidden.

     ╱   ♡      he  is  not  expecting  it. he  really  does  not.  colette  interlaces  their  fingers,  and  the  feeling  of  her  delicate  hand  in  his  own  is  so  natural  that  lloyd  can  no  longer  resist  the  heat  rising  to  the  points  of  his  ears.  he  is  briefly  rendered  speechless  by  this  innocent  gesture,  but  quickly  regains  his  composure  and  allows  a  grin  to  emerge  on  his  lips  in  response  to  colette’s  delight.  “ guess  we  got  a  plan,  then!  all  we  have  to  do  is  get  the  flower  safely  back  home.  that’s  our  new  life  mission. ”  lloyd  uses  their  connected  hands  to  swivel  them  to  his  side  and  tug  her  along,  their  new  destination  now  established  and  his  heartbeat  still  not  a  beat  calmer.

    Even struck by a smile with a glow that rivals the rising sun’s, Colette maintains composure.

the supporter

oh gentle comrade, you know what it takes to make others shine. you live your life assisting others to reach their goals, but many say you are lackluster and unnecessary. but alas, do we need the stars any less for their dim light helps the moon glow brighter! you are warm inside and out, perhaps made of sunshine one might ask? but I can see you are as weary and worn as the hero you so desperately cling to.

your purpose is to serve? Is it not? it's those moments of undying loyalty that make your bones ring true with honor. "I am right beside you," you whisper, for unlike the ones who lie through their teeth you will be with your ally through joy, through heart ache, through death. it is a difficult thing to gain your trust back if one has shattered it though, you are forgiving yes? you give many chances, but alas, one can only look away from a wrong doing so long. you can't exactly turn your other cheek as once wrings a blade through your middle. you are made of a steadfast heartbeat and a tired, knowing smile. you bring solace to the aching, and comfort to the wronged.

but what happens when your protagonist loses? what happens when your valiant heroes fail you? will you pick up a sword and vanquish their enemy or will you wait patiently for yet another savior to appear and save the day? one must live long enough to see their heroes die. but are you brave enough to take their place? the only strings that bind you to your oaths of subservience are your own doubts. "am I good enough?" they whisper in your ears. you answer that yourself love. for the only difference between the paladin and the stable boy are mettle. it is not the question of can you be a hero. it is simply, will you be?