Things you can do as a security guard instead of acting like a dickhead: a vent post disguised as advice
Offer alternatives: IE, âSorry, nobodyâs allowed to hang out over there, but we have seats over here youâre welcome to useâ. I recommend getting familiar with local parks, public seating, free food programs, outreach, mobile aid, etc., just in case those are needed.
Be polite: IE, âExcuse me, sirâ, âI beg your pardon, missâ. This should go without saying but everyone deserves dignity.
Avoid phrasing requests as orders: IE, âDonât stand in front of thatâ VS âExcuse me, could you move a bit to the side?â. This works best with an explanation, like, âThereâs a sign behind youâ, or, âyou might get clipped by someoneâ. This helps communicate that you are asking for a reason, not just throwing your weight around. If you donât have a reason, rethink whether or not you need to be doing anything.
Avoid directing blame or fault. Donât say, âThe owner says you gotta goâ when you could say, âIâm not supposed to let people be here for X periodâ or âdo X thingâ. Again, try to have alternatives ready so people can use other resources or do something else instead of just abruptly changing plans.
Come from a place of compassion whenever you can. People are gonna tell you to get rid of the crazy screaming guy. They say that because theyâre frightened and donât know what to do. Your best approach is, âHello sirâ, followed by, âHow are you today?â, âhowâs it going?â, âare you doing alright?â, etc., depending on what the person is ACTUALLY doing / saying when you get there. You can offer help from there if needed, or leave them alone if theyâre not in danger or a risk to anyone.
Remember youâre not a cop. This can mean whatever you need it to mean. For me personally, that means that with incredibly rare exception (like trying to sell to kids, contaminating otherâs food or drink) I wonât report you for drugs. If I find you doing drugs on my site Iâll tell you a different place where you can do them instead and ask you to do them there. I have interrupted drug deals to ask the client and the salesman to both kindly move 15 feet to the left, Iâm not kidding, I do not care.
Know who you can throw under the bus. Sometimes you gotta enforce rules and be the bad guy and if thatâs the fault of some dipshit in a suit 200 miles away, you can say that. Sorry man, I canât let you park your car on the lawn. I know youâre not hurting anyone and frankly I think lawn culture is stupid but thereâs other parking stalls and if my boss sees you Iâll get a write-up for not doing my job. Shit sucks sometimes but if it wasnât me telling you itâd be the new guy, and between you and me heâs an idiot and heâll probably just report you to bylaw.
Donât just act like youâre their friend, genuinely try to be a good friend. If you know that someone is doing something that will only result in a bystander phoning police, donât let them go down like that. Let them know, âhey man, you seem like youâre having a shit time and I get it, Iâll do what I can, but we gotta have this conversation somewhere else âcause weâre freaking out the old ladies.â
Swallow your tongue. You canât fix the world. People are gonna bitch at you about communists and 5G and gangster rap ruining the neighbourhood, thatâs just part of the deal. Nod along, remain neutral, shut down any hate speech, redirect if you can, and keep a limit in mind where youâll have to shut things down.
Accept that sometimes there are no solutions. Yes, that angry guy who blasts music will be back tomorrow. That homeless woman who asks you to help her find her dog that she hasnât had in 30 years will ask again, and yes, youâre still going to take a description and promise to keep an eye out. That kid who smokes crack behind the building has been clean for a few weeks and still stops by to say hi, and you hope heâll get his life together and be happy, but he also might relapse and OD before he hits 25. Sometimes you just have to do the best you can, even if nothing is guaranteed.
Be kind to teenagers. Being a kid is hard, and everyoneâs on their ass all the damn time for everything.
Remember that the vast majority of bad people arenât bad, just unhappy. The guy who keeps showing up drunk and puking on the carpet is unhappy. The lady who bitches about the service every single time and keeps coming back anyway is unhappy. The guy who leaves trash everywhere is probably unhappy. If they were happy, maybe theyâd do better, but theyâre not, and thatâs kinda sad. You donât have to let them get away with their shit, but they probably arenât actually a worthless human being either.
It doesnât matter if 12 is true or not. You need to believe it or you will become a harsh and bitter person. Look for evidence that people are not terrible and invent it if you have to
Donât let yourself become a bastard
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