just chaos

S1E1

(seriously he looks cute)

i also really, really love happy, loving, caring, silly, joyful, crowley too.

because both can exist. both sides are the same person.

i love every part of him. he is who he is not because of his trauma but because he grew from it. he has been alive for 6000 years i think he knows a thing or two about surviving. he is who he is because he doesnt care what other people think. he doesnt fit into any boxes. he keeps going despite it all, even when everything is falling apart, he gets back up and he manages to find happiness in every day life.

like a human couple falling in love

like a walk in the park with aziraphale

like a long drive in his car

like being in the bookshop

like feeding the ducks

like listening to music

I love all of crowley because he is not just his trauma. he is not just a demon. and he most certainly isnt a fucking angel.

he is honestly, just an ordinary fucking guy.

he is a good person. he is a menace. he is just a silly dude underneath all that snark, underneath those walls he puts up to protect himself, underneath the swagger. he cares about people. he cares about the humans and plants and animals and cars and music and he cares about aziraphale so incredibly much.

(sorry crowley, youre not fooling anyone)

hes literally just an ordinary guy with powers whos been through too much shit but he doesnt let that define him. he does his own thing. plays by his own rules. goes along with hell as far as he can and he looks damn good doing all of that too.

hes got style, charisma, sarcasm, a dont-fuck-with-me attitude, a deeply loving soul, a kind heart, a caring and soft side that he doesnt show often but when he does? oh. when he does...his eyes completely light up. when he lets his guard down. when aziraphale makes him laugh. you can tell he just loves him so much and feels so safe around him.

he is more than a demon. he is more than his trauma.

he is crowley. and crowley is beautiful.

crowley taught me its okay to be yourself. crowley taught me its okay to not fit in. its okay to care too much about things. its okay to be scared. its okay to be emotional. its okay to let yourself feel things. its okay to go against the rules. he taught me its okay to love whoever you want and not care what other people think. he taught me to survive. he taught me theres good moments in the darkness and that i will keep getting back up even when i feel like i cant. he taught me my trauma doesnt define me. he taught me to be strong. he taught me that you can have a rough past and still find happiness. that both things can exist.

and i just fucking admire and love him so much. so so much. I cant even describe it to you my chest feels like its gonna burst open.

(I am so emotional over him right now i love him so much dont touch me like hes so silly!!)

[Fallen]

After 11 hours of work and gallons of tears, I finally finished my Renaissance like painting of Crowley's fall!!

Probably my best artwork for now (pls reblog it~). It was supposed to be a sketch. AH. AH. Anyway, I'm really happy about the result! It feels good to challenge myself with some impossible projects 😈

Btw it's Patreons monthly A5 print! You have until end july to join and get it in your mailbox 😊

If you want a bigger version, it will also be available soon on my shop.

❤️‍🩹 Come up, darling, let us start to heal together ❤️‍🩹

What if Aziraphale hadn't left Crowley in that dirty alleyway? What if he had helped him up and held him close?

What did surprise him was Aziraphale’s reaction. At Crowley’s first hint of a pained groan, he’d dashed off to collect not one or two but three hand-written journals.

They turned out to be a collection of Aziraphale’s notes about how best to care for his demon. There were notes on tea blends, bath aromatherapies, herpetological care, and even a detailed diagram of how to arrange pillows. Aziraphale had to adjust that last one, since the couch in their cottage was different from the one in their bookshop, but he muddled through.

And so they spent a quiet day indoors, with Aziraphale fussing over his demon to his heart’s content, and Crowley not bothering to put up more than a single, tiny token protest at all the cosseting.

Sometime between Aziraphale adjusting the portable steam device that was soothing his breathing and straightening the blankets he’d cocooned him in, Crowley relaxed even more. He let his guard all the way down and fell into a deep, restful sleep, knowing with absolute certainty that his Husband would protect and care for him until he woke.

Quite early Crowley had informed him that there would be no work on the cottage today. Instead they spread out a blanket in front of the fire, miracled up an endless picnic basket of treats and wine, and then spent all day drinking and talking about things no more serious than that time Crowley had a run-in with earth’s most temperamental donkey.

Now Crowley has fallen asleep, with his head in Aziraphale’s lap and a lusty sigh of comfort. So Aziraphale is reading, lovingly carding his fingers through his demon’s hair, and enjoying the heat of the roaring fire and wine.