tried baked quesadilla and the taste is serviceable but the texture is off and its sooooooo crumbly. while that is probably avoidable with different preparation its presently killing the vibe of this meal time

i find myself increasingly often wishing i were "normal" despite in my experience at least normal people are still quite miserable. i guess i want some of the "useful person" attributes that come with living "normally" as while i try often painfully to be useful as far as my circumstances allow i know my existence is more burdensome than not and i suppose i have a selfish desire to have actual value to the world around me so that i might feel good about my own worth as a person

whenever i see stuff about trans women in sports i feel like im going insane because people make all sorts of arguments about unfair genetic advantages or whatever when the only way youre actually avoiding that is by having all the players be clones and like i think the truly most important reason that none of that stuff even matters is because sports are a game and if youre going to pretend that any sort of trait a player possesses that causes them to not be exactly average by every measureable degree means they win automatically you may as well have no one play at all and just give everyone a stat sheet to look at and decide who wins there

i was going to attempt the battle tower but after the first 7 matches i was already bored and my interest in competitive pokemon is nonexistent so i think im pretty done with the game. after finishing it im still of the opinion theyre overall disappointing remakes

i think im feeling very sad over things i cant change and i know i shoudlnt but even without the constant reminders i dont think i could change how im affected mentally

having what is maybe a minor Mental Health Occurrence and ive decided to restart pokemon brilliant diamond(with the intention of finishing this time no matter how peeved i get). hopefully the familiarity/disappointment with help soothe/piss me off into a state of lucidity

having extra trouble sleeping recently and while not directly related to the constant feeling of an impending tragedy i think that feeling may be contributing its own seperate share of sleep difficulty

thinking of playing fe echoes again just to listen to some of the music

i cant wait for the weather to be cold and gray again

want to take apart my ps5 to be sure the overheating is just a room temperature/dust issue and not a liquid metal/legit hardware issue but i dont think i have the necessary things to do so even excluding said metal plus i could end up messing up so itd be easier to take it to get checked out/cleaned professionally. however both options would cost money and this is very much a non essential expense which i prefer to avoid whenever possible -_-

considering the most recent maggot issue i think waste management/disposal is going to be something i will need to try very hard to be assertive/annoying about to people around me because it makes no sense that the person who gets panic attacks around this sort of thing(me!!) is the one whos always dealing with it. i guess its partially due to me not being outwardly expressive or complaining about doing things that other people dont want to for the sake of just getting them done but even if this didnt feel like legitimate psychological torture i think itd still be a bit unfair

convinced branded will still be getting new cards in the year 2060

anyone else feel as though theyre being bludgeoned and beaten by their own despair