i like to cunt punt cowboys

i honestly think id do pretty well as an aborted baby. I'd make it work for me

I identify with the wizard Howl because if *I* had magical powers I would use them to get better hair, evade taxes, make computer games for my nieces and nephews, use aliases that imply I’m related to King Arthur, spend at least half my life as a literal toddler and discover alternate planes of reality so that I could flirt with the girls there.

I hate when another car forces you to park terribly but then they leave before you and it’s just like great. Well now my atrocious park job is deprived of context and I look like an asshole

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. THIS IS SO NASTY. WHAT IS THIS STRANGELY SHAPED, HI RES FUCKED UP PIECE OF SHIT. SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME THIS DISGUSTING MASS OF WHAT THE FUCK EVER THIS EVEN IS. WHY DO THINGS EXIST LIKE THIS. WHAT THE HELL DO I TAG THIS NASTY THING. WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS THIS

it’s a sliced mango holy shit

oh. i like mangoes. 

Toddler response

@amtrak-official

So connect the Windsor-Quebec Corridor and the Northeast Corridor with HSR, that isn't that bad of an idea. It doesn't even need to be that distant dream that is Meglev, just making it fast frequent rail would do it, I would prioritize getting a connection between Boston and Montreal in this system but it is an exciting idea

this has been scheduled since last month

today

"assless chaps" 🙄back in my day we just called them the english

was gonna say "The Assless Chaps" would be a great name for a band but i think thats just the beatles.

Pro-Capitalist’s defense of capitalism is just explaining how it works, and then when you say “yes I know, I just think it shouldn’t be like that” they explain it to you again but angrier this time

They say “It’s fair because the people who own capital earn all the rewards” and then you say “I dont think owning capital entitles you to all the profits” and then their brain short circuits