Would you really call it art? I feel like I should probably check out a competition to see if it really can be classified as art. 

What else would it be called? There’s a reason that theatre programs are so competitive and people stream into New York to see a Broadway show. Show choirs are the genesis for all of that.

They give hope where hope is needed and we’re a family although sometimes strained and a little unorganized, we’re better than you think that we are. And we’re going to prove that to you at Nationals. It should change everything that you said because right off the bat you put down another show choir and essentially put down all of the seniors that are going on to bigger and better things and will be successful. Honesty may be a bitter pill to swallow sometimes but you are false in everything that you have said. Life is not kind to those that are prepared either.

Good luck with that plucky. 

How would that surprise you, when it’s a subject that comes up whenever anyone talks about anything here? That’s nice, I suppose. I just don’t understand the point of it. 

Not everything in life has to have a point, least of all art. Somethings simply exist because if they didn’t then life would be just that much more unbearable.

You’re not being honest. Frankly, you’re being a dick. You have no idea where the members of New Directions are going with their lives and you only assume that their four years at McKinley will be their best. 

As you’re a member of the New Directions I can only assume that they’ve fed you on their special diet of hope and rainbows and last minute set list decisions, but I’m here to burst that sprinkle coated bubble of yours. You don’t have to be nice to be honest, in fact honesty is often a bitter pill to swallow and so if you need to call me a dick by all means go for it. It doesn’t change any of what I said. You are correct though, I don’t really keep up to date with the lives of people I don’t generally socialize with, but I can say with real comfort that life will not be kind to those ill prepared.

So, what you’re saying is the choir at McKinley isn’t the only one going to Nationals out of Ohio. I really didn’t know this show choir thing was this popular. 

I’m not surprised that someone that attends McKinley would be unaware of such matters. Show choir is a way of life.

Are you always this negative and narcissistic?

What’s negative about being honest? I find that negativity comes from a lie.

Better than everyone thirteen and under. Nevertheless, we’re always improving. So I wouldn’t write us off yet.

I can’t relate, as there’s no way to improve upon perfection.

I said try to psych us out. Never said I was.

Okay, if you say so, Blondie.

We made it to the same National stage you did. Twice now. Apparently we’re doing something right.

Making it twelfth is hardly an accomplishment I would brag about, but whatever helps you sleep at night.

Or, perhaps, the judges recognize the heart and soul we put into our performances. A touch that Vocal Adrenaline wouldn’t know the first thing about.

Vocal Adrenaline is one of the most awarded Show Choirs in the country, last I checked New Directions had only ever managed to marginally entertain the people of Ohio. I’m sure you’ll understand if I don’t take advice from you. Or anyone from your rag tag group of misfits. 

Coach Bieste told us once that the only reason to try to trash talk or psych out your opponent is when you’re not confident in your own ability to win. So maybe we don’t have that much to worry about.

If simply relaying facts and stats is enough to psych you out then I feel like there might be an underlying confidence issue that has nothing to do with me. Tell yourself whatever you need to in order to feel better about yourself for when New Directions inevitably loses again at Nationals.

Thank you, but we didn’t need a flute or any other instruments to prove how amazing we are. We’re definitely going to win Nationals this year because the choreography is going to blow you all away. Wait, you were supposed to come over last year and judge my cat on my hit web show. 

The Choreography? I’m not sure the choreography William could come up with would blow away an infant, but I’m happy you’re at least making an attempt to do more than sway this year. Ah, sounds like you should reach out for my management team for all appearances.

You think every group but yours is substandard, so forgive me if I find your perspective radically skewed. Not to mention you were a member of our ‘rag tag team’ for a very brief time, and that was several years ago. Things change. But we’ll see on the National Stage, no matter what either one of us says. Oh, I see. I was hoping for potential scene partners who could keep up with me. 

I don’t think it, the stats back it up. Vocal Adrenaline is the show choir with the most consecutive National Show Choir titles in recent memory, there’s a reason Carmel High’s auditorium is state of the art and our Booster Club is very generous. Things may change, but people just get better at what they do, and New Directions has never been a threat to anyone. The underdog only comes out triumphant in stories, real life requires actual skills and not just hope and the desire to win. Ah, well New York is a city of eight million people, I’m sure you’ll find someone.

I welcome Vocal Adrenaline back to the stage with open arms, because I for one enjoy healthy competition. I hope to win Nationals in my senior year, but that would just be icing on the cake. Does coaching Vocal Adrenaline mean you went be in New York at all next year? 

A healthy competition would imply that your victory was anything more thank a fluke of substandard competition at Regionals. As a former member of your rag tag team of misfits I can personally attest to the haphazard manner that your club is run, and I’m quite confident that it will result in another soul crushing defeat. Which is unfortunate given your talent. That remains to be seen, the Coaching position at Carmel isn’t a fully tenured position, my contract was for a year and we’re going to reevaluate following our Nationals performance.

Normally I’m all for anyone who’s against the Lima Losers that is the New Directions but you seem like just as much of a loser for being in ‘show choir’ which is a shame. What is it about losers and singing and dancing? It’s such a waste.

Being in show choir paid my tuition in full at an elite University, so your opinion literally means nothing to me.