Michelangelo once said "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it."
For years I lived as stone, feeling the statue within me but never being able to showcase it. I'd look in the mirror, expecting to find the fine features I envisioned, only to be met with cold, hard stone. It was devastating, leaving my heart as hard as my reflection. Everything felt dark and cold, as cold as the surface of the stone that stared back at me. But that was not the end of it.
In the past year, I have become a sculptor. Each day I chip away at the stone block I see before me, slowly uncovering the statue I know is in there, the statue that's always been there. It's a sluggish process, chipping the stone piece by little piece, day after day. But it is so rewarding.
Each day I look in the mirror and see a new feature of the statue carved into that same stone block. New eyes, seeing the world for the first time. Skin, ready to feel something besides the cold embrace of stone. And the smile. The smile, something I never expected to see in that old block of stone, proudly presented front and center. It's so bright and warm, shining like a jewel. No rock could keep it contained now.
Sculpting is a laborious task. It's not easy and can even be quite frightening at times. An inch carved can feel like a mile. But that stone is just so suffocating and cold that it needs to come off. I am still more stone than statue, but I anxiously wait for the day I can fully shed the stone's weight and show the world the beautiful statue I've always known to be inside me. And each day I get closer to my goal, carving more of that stone away. Each day I take one step closer to freedom.
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Hey everyone! Thank you so much for reading! I know that right now is a pretty scary time to be trans, especially in the US, so I wanted to take the time to reflect on my journey. I wanted to phrase gender dysphoria and transition in a way that anyone could understand and empathize with, and I thought this old Michelangelo quote would be a good metaphor to use! But most importantly, I want to give the community hope. It's something we're sorely lacking these days. Transitioning has been one of the hardest and scariest things I've ever had to do, but I had to do it. My life has been so much better in just about every way since I started living as my authentic self, and I hope everyone that can relate to this story finds that same joy and validation too someday. We are facing tough times ahead of us, but we're tough people. We've weathered worse storms. We will make it!!
Thank you again for reading and stay safe,
Evelyn :)
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