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WARNING!! THE RESTLESS SPIRIT OF THE PART OF ME THAT DIED FOREVER IN THE BALLPIT LAST JULY IS VENGEFUL AND WISHES ME HARM!!! IT MAY DESTROY ALL WHO BEAR MY VISAGE!!! MUPPET JOKER COSPLAYERS BEWARE: THE GHOST OF MUPPET JOKER HAUNTS THE BALLPIT AND AIMS TO KILL!!!!!!!! Excellent craftsmanship though

godawful post i made when i was 14. let me escape it please god

no 🩷

Absorbing all of the period cramps of all of my followers. You're welcome, females. You're welcome, theys. You're welcome, brotherhood. Menstrating for ALL OF YOU.

YOU WROTE A FANFICTION WHERE I TURN EMO????

I went to my Bugs Class today-- we're on the dead bugs unit right now-- and lately we've been comparing dead bugs to other dead things, to make sure we know the difference. We were looking at dead people today. Their faces are covered, and their skin is peeled back in some places so that we can know that their insides aren't like a bug's. Human cadavers look different than I thought they would. Yellowed skin, sinewy dried-up muscles, imperfectly preserved. They smell like formaldehyde. My one classmate-- you know the one, I won't say their name (I talk about them too much)-- was tasked with holding back the skin with gloved hands so we could look closer at the ribcage, learn how it differs from the thorax. Their hands are long and slender, and they had to take off all their rings to put on the surgical gloves. My heart was pounding as I watched them. I felt horribly ashamed, because the smell of the formaldehyde makes me feel hungry, which is disgusting, and sick. It made me feel sick. I couldn't hear what the professor was saying, I was just looking at Them, and I imagined what it might feel like to have their hands under my skin like that, examining my bones and deciding if I am a human underneath. I don't think I want them, romantically. I'm not even sure if I want them to be my friend. I think I want to be them. Maybe I want to have their skin over my flesh, maybe it would hold my disgusting viscera in a better shape. My mouth is filled with saliva, and I am horrible for wanting. I think if they put me on the table, and opened me up, it would be maggots underneath. I know, because I am rotten. I know, because I can feel them squirming.

Lore fact: There are zero (0) listings for a "Slime Job" on Indeed.com (untagged). Who does Norman Light ( @the-muppet-joker )think he is kidding?

GRRRR.... WHY I OUGHTA... I'LL SHOW YOU A SLIME JOB!!!

Had a haunting nightmare that I started a political movement similar to the one at the end of the Joker movie but instead of burning things down and being crazy, all of my followers just dressed up as the Joker and stood at street corners holding signs that said things like "IM NOT JOKIN" and "WHY SO FURIOUS" as like, a vague protest against Everything Going On Economically And Politically Right Now. It was called jotesting (Joker Protesting) and it resulted in my Tumblr account getting nuked

holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

this shit had to be a fuckin fire hazard or something i swear to goddd

they beat jesus with that

happy good friday

“make friends” who am i doctor franking stein

do u think i can go for a run today or is that something only normal people are allowed to do

weird animals run all the time dude

im going to go for a scamper and scare everyone