Re:Zero analysis - Subaruâs Femininity & Genderqueerness
Natsuki Subaruâs expression of femininity within Re:Zero is almost always either fetishized or hated, in both cases usually trivialized, reduced to âTappeiâs fetishâ more often than not. Itâs a heavily misunderstood topic that definitely deserves more clarification. Yes, crossdressing has always been a hobby of Subaruâs, but itâs always been much more than that, since it is an expression of his femininity, a part of himself. He had always struggled with it and it spiraled into heavy gender issues, which made a heavy impact in how he wants to be seen.
It is important to mention that Tappei gives a great deal of importance to the names of his characters, them being a big part of their identity, as shown through the relevance of Sin Archbishops, Witches, etc. being named after stars, how they relate to their place in the world and their characteristics, but also shown through Gluttonyâs power, in how having your name stolen means having your identity forgotten by the world.
Tappei purposefully chose âSubaruâ, yes, in big part due to lore related reasons for sure, especially since it is the name of a star cluster, but it is also explicitly a gender neutral name, being used for both boys and girls. This is even explicitly brought up in the âMy Fair Bad Ladyâ Side Story, and even further grounded in the Mimagau IF, where every genderbent character had their name altered except for Subaru and Roswaal (who had been a woman before).
As early as LN 1, Subaru refers to his preschooler self being âquite cuteâ, having long hair and often mistaken for a girl, something he seems to think fondly of, saying that the passage of time is âcruelâ and âunforgivingâ. The phrasing directly ties in cuteness with his girly appearance, which further correlates that appearance with something he misses, along with the positive attention he had gathered. It is possible to point out the first occasion in which Subaru learnt that it's only if heâs seen that he exists. Â
His physical appearance is pre-school is brought up once again in LN 19, where he brings up that he had been called âPrincess of the Iceâ, an obviously feminine title addressed to the self who had still been often confused for a girl, being called once again âadorableâ, supporting the implication that itâs something that he misses.Â
This is even further supported by another mention of his preschooler self, or rather, the end of his âadorable selfâ, calling himself âas pretty as a flowerâ. He does not look down upon his preschooler self once again, never saying anything negative about itâ He rather says that period of his life had ended once he had his long hair cut, the manifestation of his femininity. He hadnât wanted to be mistaken for a girl anymore, and yet he had cried a lot when he had his hair cut. After all, that long hair was part of him. Long hair is a very smart allegory for femininity, intrinsically being closely associated with it by todayâs societyâs standards, so having his hair, a part of his body, cut is a metaphor for him choosing to reject his feminine side, a part of his identity.
âBut if he liked being feminine, why did he cut his hair?â The reason is very simple: Femininity was not what was expected of a man. Subaruâs been specifically someone who lives for external validation and acceptance, and societal gender expectations didnât allow for a boy to have long hair. While young it would be considered cute, as he grew up, it would be considered weird, and Subaru did not want that, wanting to present himself as masculine, to become a âreal manâ, as per those expectations.Â
Hence why he also said that ânowadays, he would only feel comfortable as long as the back of his head felt jarring to the touchâ, very interesting wording as âcomfortableâ, a positive adjective, is a direct antonym for âjarringâ, a negative one. Calling the back of his hair, now short, âjarring to the touchâ, even further suggests that he misses that long hair, which had been established to be an allegory for his femininity. He found comfort in something he does not like, which perfectly encapsulates his issue: In favor of expectations of being a man, he had literally cut off a part of himself. This is a topic that will be discussed later in the analysis.
Another reason would be that he grew up under Kenichiâs shadow, and being his âfatherâs sonâ had instilled a sense of superiority in him. In regards to Tappeiâs method of writing, the wording used is extremely important, so it is crucial to notice that itâs not âchildâ that is used, but âsonâ. The same applies for his father. Itâs not âKenichiâ, but âthat manâ, to the point that âKenichiâ and âmanâ are synonymous.Â
This will be brought up again later, but the point here is that âsonâ is a male noun, and itâs part of the identity and expectations Subaru tried his hardest to fit in the entirety of his childhood, especially when Kenichi is brought upâ The personification of masculinity. Being âthat manâs sonâ did not allow for femininity.Â
Long before he had gotten into high school, being âthat manâs sonâ had become a curse to Subaru. So, with a new environment, he wanted to become something else entirely in a new world that did not see him as such⌠Literally.
He had taken up the part of himself he had cut off in his early childhood, the part of himself that had not been rejected, the part of himself that used to attract positive attention and validation in early youth. He wanted to escape being âthat manâs sonâ to such a degree that he took up his femininity once more, presenting himself as a girl.
It is something he had genuinely enjoyed, and finally felt like he could enjoy school life after struggling to not stand out, to not get the attention and validation he was taught to crave throughout the entirety of middle school after the realization that he is nothing special, and out of shame, did not want that to be noticed.Â
It is, ironically, his high school life he rarely speaks about even in the âParent and Childâ chapter, and itâs not unintentionalâ Itâs only that part that gets quickly glossed over, treated as something unimportant in spite of him claiming in various side stories that it had been extremely traumatizing to the point of having been a major catalyst behind dropping out. Every time he almost talks about it, he stops himself from doing so and consciously blocks the memory.Â
What we know is that he had enjoyed school life presenting himself as a girl for three days since the high school entrance ceremony, and on the third day, his voice had outed him as a boy, ruining everything and making him promise to himself he would never crossdress again (though it was broken). It is exactly this part that gets painfully obscured, refusing to talk about it whatsoever.
All of the context clues we have would be found in the âNatsuki Subaruâs Splendid Steward Lifeâ SS, where he had been tricked to wear a maid outfit for an entire day. It was very interesting to read Subaruâs reaction to Emilia seeing him dressed up femininely, his inner thoughts spiraling from âWas the world out to get him?â to âHe wanted to dieâ, âTo move was death, to speak was deathâ and calling that situation a âfatal woundâ that couldnât be avoided.
Subaru was stated to hate wordings such as âit hurt so bad they could dieâ or anything of the sort that involved death, considering it an insult to the actual pain of death and death itself, something he had actually endured multiple times. And yet, he goes out of his way to compare this seemingly trivial situation to death FOUR times.
To continue, his feelings and expression were stated to start dying by the second until Emiliaâs reply that did not bash him for the act of expressing his femininity in itself, but rather that the dress itself simply did not suit him, which shocked him. His immediate question was to make sure he wasnât going to be labeled a pervert and yelled at, which I can only assume that something similar had happened in high school, judging by his reaction. Though taking into consideration his inability to reveal what happened, itâs likely something worse had occurred, especially since afterwards, he had been treated like thin air by his peers.Â
But in essence, the world had not responded with love to his femininity, but with rejection and disdain. The self he had considered the most pure and innocent, cut off before being tainted, was deemed unacceptable. His entirety had been rejected by society from the world, ending up thinking that maybe he shouldnât have existed at all.
The most interesting bit about his reaction, to me, however, was his high school experience being tied together in the same line of dialogue as âNow Iâll never get to be a bride! Emilia-tan, please say we can be married!â, breaking down into tears when he questioned Emilia about it.Â
If you didnât know, that line is a direct reference to the famous painting âI cannot be a bride anymoreâ by Yuko Tatsushima (1999), a very haunting piece of art depicting a woman in pain with a haunted and shocked look, considering herself undesirable as a bride after having her virginity, considered the groomâs prize to be taken, stolen away before marriage. It is not the first time Tappei linked Subaru to this specific painting, having done so once before in the Arc 2 WN when he had found out Emilia had changed his clothes while he slept with the implication that she had seen his naked body.
Any relevant details regarding his high school life had been relegated to side stories and Q&As and not the âParent and Childâ chapter itself considering that the whole thing was a confession to his father, and it is very likely that he did not want Kenichi to know about any of it, making this part of the chapter not 100% reliable. It is safe to assume that this event that had been blocked from his memory played a huge part in Subaru ending up stopping going to school, describing it as feeling exceptionally at ease, his school days being painful, along with wanting his parents to stop loving him, so he could be âset freeâ.Â
In the Arc 4 WN version of the âParent and Childâ chapter, Subaru had called himself âeffeminateâ, even going as far as calling himself a âcreatureâ that did not deserve to be âKenichiâs sonâ, openly believing that being feminine is in his nature to the point he couldnât call himself a man (let alone a human. Another word for âhumanâ would be âmanâ, so I think it makes up for very interesting wordplay here).
In a Q&A with Tappei, he had been asked what exactly made Subaru great at wearing womenâs clothing, to which Tappei replied that his gestures perfectly replicated the ideal beauty standards for a japanese woman, even bringing up the proverb for them in Japanese culture: âShe is beautiful who stands charmingly like a chinese peony, sits gorgeously like a moutan peony, and walks elegantly like a lily.â Suggesting that he was not only feminine in appearance, but also in gestures. Ironically, he effortlessly fulfilled the (beauty) expectations of a woman, but struggled meeting those of a man.
To support this, just a glance at his physique had Ram convinced that he would perfectly fit into Fredericaâs clothes, normal menâs clothing not fitting him at all and needing modifications. His fingers had been described as slender multiple times, an adjective usually meant for female charactersâ hands, and his face had also been described as being âsuitable for makeupâ on multiple occasions as well.Â
Subaru often displays traditionally feminine hobbies, such as sewing, embroidery and makeup, having fun designing dresses and/or decorating them, putting an emphasis on cuteness and beauty, even in IFs. His go-to patterns seem to be flower motifs, often associated with femininity.
His behavior is explicitly detached from masculinity, being quickly accepted among his female co-workers in Sloth IF for being different from all the other men and explicitly using the word âfeminineâ to describe him. (excuse the fontâŚ)
In the same manner, heâs accustomed to affixing feminine words to himself as a way of description, calling himself âmotherlyâ, a âdancer girlâ, âheroineâ or a âgirl in a knitting circleâ. And naturally fitting in roles that would normally belong to women.
Struggles with traditional gender roles
The world of Re:Zero is patriarchal society where men are expected to be strong and reliable, with women relegated to support them. Multiple characters were shown to struggle in this kind of society in regards to their gender, such as Ferris, who, despite his appearance who had been described to âscream âgirlâ at youâ, at his core would rather prefer to be a masculine man, bemoaning his inability to serve as Cruschâs knight in the conventional sense, and disliking Subaru for being âweakâ therefore âunmanlyâ, seeing the traits he sees in himself being reflected in Subaru, or Crusch, who had thrown away her femininity in order to take up the sword and her family.
To get back to the main point, in the world of Re:Zero, Subaru falls within stereotypically feminine roles, especially in the roles of being a support when he wishes to define himself as someone who âprotectsâ or âattacksâ, a traditionally masculine role, completely unsuited to him. This, ironically, is shown with his Authorities, who shape themselves after the userâs nature.Â
Sloth: For Petelgeuse, itâs very strong; A danger. But for Subaru, he can only summon one, itâs very weak, and when used offensively, it has major consequences. But when used in moments of comfort when his own hands canât reach, such as patting Joseph or wiping Beatriceâs tears, there was no considerable setback.
Greed: For Regulus, his Authority was so powerful and self-serving, it put him as one of the strongest characters in the story, someone not even Reinhard would be able to defeat by himself. Yet, for Subaru, it has no offensive potential, being an incredibly supportive ability instead, being able to take and share emotional, mental or physical burden from and to consenting allies, allowing Subaru to detect their location and their emotional states. With a big enough number, he could even make a near invincible army as long as he keeps himself awake, and on the other side of the coin, it has no use when heâs by himself.
To further highlight this, his love interest, Emilia, is the total opposite, easily performing typically masculine roles. She is one of the heavy-hitters of the camp, the leader of it and someone naturally gifted in combat who is capable of protecting others with her power, all the while being confident in her own femininity.Â
Heâs the one being saved (stereotypically feminine) when he wants to be the one who saves (stereotypically masculine), even if itâs something unsuited to him and something that actively destroys him. This is best portrayed through his acts of heroism and his obsession with saving everyone. Though this is largely attributed to his crippling fear of loss, this can be also analyzed from a gender perspective.
Being a hero largely involves masculine attributes, and so it is an identity Subaru wants to confidently define himself by, even though it is something that actively harms him in the long run, slowly, but surely, killing his heart. Heroism is largely portrayed through a negative lens in Re:Zero, Tappei outright stating that Greed IF Subaru had become a âheroâ who is capable of saving everything after losing his own heart, Arc 4 Subaru actively struggling with the identity of a hero Rem had given him throughout the events and at times even considering it a curse.
Tappei himself portrays heroism as a masculine activity for him, putting Subaruâs identity as Natsumi in anti-thesis with Subaruâs identity as a hero.
Natsumi Schwartz, personification of Subaruâs femininity
As an introduction, âNatsumi Schwartzâ is the name Subaruâs female identity goes under, a result of Subaru pushing away all of his femininity under the existence of one alter ego that embodies it. After all, he has a complex about it due to it being rejected by society, but it is not something he himself dislikes.
Studying the etymology of the name, âNatsumiâ is solely written in katakana (ăăă) so there is no fixed or traditional meaning, but a common and possible meaning for it would be âBeautiful Summerâ, and the last name âSchwartzâ is âBlackâ in german, originally a nickname for someone with black hair.Â
Together, it could be read as âBeautiful Black Summerâ, which is an interesting play of words since black is closely associated with darkness, while summer is associated with light. Summer can also be associated with warmth and freedom, which could track to his femininity being used as an outlet to escape expectations whenever they get too suffocating.Â
Natsumi even behaves in an uninhibited manner thatâs unlike the behavior Subaru normally displays, further portraying the feeling of âfreedomâ, to the point Otto remarked that Subaru might not even respond to his real name anymore while having such a good time as Natsumi in the âThe Three Idiots Set Out! The Cursed Goddess Statue Episodeâ post-Arc 4 SS.
The âBeautifulâ part tracks to Natsumi being incredibly beautiful, followed by Subaruâs belief that âBeauty can be madeâ, a desire for Subaru to imagine himself as most beautiful while embracing his femininity, normally considering himself to be physically unattractive.
Crossdressing is Subaruâs hobby, but it is not just a hobbyâ Natsumi is a very real identity for Subaru and taken extremely seriously by him, just like the identity of a hero he keeps holding onto. He puts his everything into it, because he loves being Natsumi, a persona born from his rejected femininity. Unlike the identity of being âthat manâs sonâ or the identity of being âRemâs Heroâ where his femininity wasnât allowed, the identity of Natsumi Schwartz allows him to fully embrace it as he could freely disregard and hide the parts of him that expected masculinity. He even went through the extra effort to train his voice to sound like a womanâs.
What also differentiates âNatsumi Schwartzâ from the other two is that it is the only identity out of the three that Subaru created himself and effortlessly embraced without having to suffer for it. âNatsuki Kenichiâs sonâ was an identity imposed by societal expectations that slowly crushed him as he grew up, and âRemâs Heroâ was an identity imposed by Rem that gave him something to like about himself at the cost of his own sanity. The two of them are products of what other people wanted from Subaru, while Natsumi is something Subaru is perfectly comfortable with as it is his own creation and born from a part of him that existed from the very start, something that doesnât require him to spill blood and/or tears for, its only downside being that it is very susceptible to rejection by the outside world.Â
This gets further exemplified by Subaru excusing that he âdid not have time to change backâ when asked by multiple people why he hadnât, even though the other two guys who had crossdressed with him had plenty of time to do so. Even later when leaving for Chaosflame, he excused keeping up the identity by having to hide his real name.
Natsumi Schwartz even ends up taking the role of being Subaruâs idealized self. Sheâs beautiful, confident, self-reliant and intelligent, things he fully believes heâs not. Subaru feels confident as Natsumi, but itâs not actual confidenceâ Itâs trust in the ideal self he created for himself, trust in the parts of himself he always rejected, channeled through this persona.Â
And yet, he wouldnât acknowledge that Natsumi is all of these things he envisions as âidealâ simply because what Natsumi is made up of is also what Subaru is made up of, as she was born out of the feminine traits he tried to cut out of himself, those same traits that were once terribly rejected by those around him, as they did not fit their idea of who and what Subaru should be.
In truth, he does like being feminine, he likes being beautiful, he likes makeup, he likes dressing up, he likes having long hair, but he does not allow this part of him to surface unless itâs through Natsumi, the manifestation of everything that heâs taught he shouldnât be.