I'm feeling good, yeah im feeling so fine [...] don't be alarmed this is just my vibe
Claire Keane
Today's Document

pixel skylines

shark vs the universe

#extradirty

Kaledo Art
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
noise dept.
Show & Tell
Peter Solarz

ellievsbear

Product Placement
Not today Justin


⁂
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Monterey Bay Aquarium

if i look back, i am lost
Mike Driver
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@spratattack
I'm feeling good, yeah im feeling so fine [...] don't be alarmed this is just my vibe

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manic episode symptoms/warning signs
THIS IS NOT GOING TO APPLY TO EVERYONE!!! this is my own personal experience. mental illness isn't a one size fits all, i'm not claiming to be an expert or know what everyone's mania feels like, this is just what i've experienced
increased irritability
increased energy
change in appetite, not feeling hungry for days and then becoming ravenous
frequent sensory overload
oversensitivity
changes in sleep pattern, sleeping only 3-4 hours or shifting to sleeping more during the day and being awake all night
noticeable increase in productivity, that might start out as good, but you notice yourself being hyper fixated and jumping from several different projects
increase in impulsivity
feeling like you've lost control over yourself and your actions
paranoia
intrusive thoughts
nightmares
talking a lot, rambling, going on long rants
a feeling like you're watching yourself on a screen, like someone else took over your body and you're watching from the outside as they live your life
being aware you're making bad choices or that you are being reckless but not caring or being able to stop
dissociation
impulse purchases and reckless spending
reckless driving
impulse to change appearance or alter your image that can feel like a NEED if it isn't done immediately (for me this manifests in my hair, like cutting it or changing the color at 3 am. it also used to be comorbid with my eating disorder, which led to extreme fasting to try and lose weight)
feeling like you can accomplish things you couldn't normally do, feeling powerful, inflated ego and sense of self. i sometimes would think i was invincible and that nothing could hurt me and tried to act on it to prove it
increase in libido
risky sexual behavior
heightened emotions, everything feels larger than life, the highs feel like they'll never end and the lows feel like the end of the world
for myself this was only in extreme cases, but visual or auditory hallucinations. i've only had visual hallucinations a couple times, but when things got really bad, i would hear things that weren't there, or hear people calling me when i was all alone
feeling like thoughts are racing and you can't stop them, feeling like everything is loud and you're being pulled in a million directions
friends and family noticing uncharacteristic behavior, cutting people off, becoming VERY irritable, or showing too much affection in a way that isn't normal for you
and, inevitably, when it ends: The Big Crash. the depressive episode after that knocks you out
Mixed episode or mixed mania is pretty hard to explain. Psychiatrists often say you have both (hypo) mania and depression at the same time. Which well doesn't make sense.
To me mixed episodes mean:
Barely sleeping but no energy
Racing thoughts in a negative way
Loss of interest in ideas you get
Lethargy
Freaquent mood swings that make no sense
Passive aggressiveness
Tingling in your body
Electricity in your stomach
Feeling sick physically
Having energy to clean but stop abruptly because it passes
Anxiety
Depressive/negative thought patterns and cognitive issues and feelings of hopelessness while also feeling extremely wired and restless
Feeling unbearably horny, yet simultaneously empty and unlovable inside
Really, really unexplainably intense sadness/grief that makes you want to break things-- a feeling I like to call Despair Rage
Psychotic people NEED more coping mechanisms that aren’t just “take your meds” . Seeing a psychiatrist is expensive and inaccessible for many, not to mention the fact that for some people, the side effects of antipsychotics are worse than the psychosis itself, and the fact that antipsychotics often don’t remove symptoms entirely!
So, here’s what I learned, after nearly a decade of being unmedicated due to financial constraints and a religious family that was fairly anti-psychiatry for most of my life:
- STRESS MANAGEMENT. A stress-free life is impossible in this society, but you can definitely lower your stress levels with lifestyle changes. Stay hydrated, exercise, take your vitamins, spend time with loved ones, eat nutritious meals, spend some time outside in nature.
- It’s very hard to keep on top of all of this when you’re dealing with negative symptoms, and many of us can’t access all those things if we’re poor, but every little bit helps. To-do lists and bullet journals help me keep on track with this stuff.
- PROPER SLEEP. Sleep deprivation is one of the number one causes of psychosis. Try to get at least 8 hours a night, or however much your body personally needs.
- Stay away from weed unless you already know for a FACT that it doesn’t negatively affect you. If you don’t know, don’t risk it, because it makes paranoia and other psychotic symptoms much worse for most of us.
- When in an episode, it’s good to have a safe person around who you can confide in. Someone who will listen to you nonjudgementally, without encouraging your delusions or hallucinations. If you don’t have a safe person, psychosis forums, support groups, or even just a private diary are all good places to get your thoughts out.
- One of the best ways I dealt with some of my less intense delusions and paranoias was my “I Don’t Care” method. People are watching me through cameras everywhere I go? Whatever, let them watch. I’ll put on a little show for them while we’re at it. I’m living in a horrifying simulation and if I just look through the cracks I can see the rotting world beneath? Whatever, why would I want to do that? This fake milkshake tastes pretty good, I’m going to go on a fake walk.
- Obviously this takes some practice, because psychosis activates all the parts of your brain that are like FEAR ALERT, FEAR ALERT, SET ALL SYSTEMS TO PANIC, but after some time it’s a skill you can hone pretty well.
- Breathing exercises! Tormented by horrifying prophetic visions? Hallucinating bugs all over your body? Your food looks suspiciously like human organs and that’s really freaking you out, man? Wrap yourself in a weighted blanket and breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold, and repeat.
- Avoid the tempting cycle of triggering yourself on purpose, whether it be self harm, curiosity, what have you. When you get the urge, do something distracting instead.
Feel free to add onto this post anything else you’ve learned!
During my last episode I certainly had the "we live in a horrifying simulation" (complete with stat bars, inventory menu and a little map) and I can attest to the "I don't care" method working. Hell, it even made the hallucinations kind of fun cause it started to feel like playing a very immersive version of GTA.
Also, a punk jacket is good to wear during episodes. People expect punks to do weird things, so if you're doing something kind of weird and wearing a punk jacket most people don't particularly notice or care.

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angelic selfie! 🔥
Here's a bunch of angel designs while I'm working on a new concept
(source)
Had this idea that wouldn't leave my brain, here's an angel based on Stygiomedusa gigantea! I've put it on my redbubble on most items here. I've also looked into making this an enamel pin and am seriously considering it, please let me know if this is something you guys would be interested in and show this design some love!
Hey, I have a new webcomic. It's called SHOT AND CHASER and it's about storms. The first ten pages are up at http://shot-and-chaser.com.
Will update with two new pages every Tuesday.

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Shout out to trans women who aren't computer scientists or musicians or avant-garde artists or whatever.
Shout-out to tgirls who work at Taco Bell. Thank u queen, society would collapse without you
Over twenty years ago my big brother got me a job at a Taco Bell in the St. Louis suburbs-West County. He warned me that it was the "gay Taco Bell", but since I was coming from the "gay Howard Johnson's" I wasn't shocked. It turns out it was the black trans women Taco Bell complete with black trans women in management. And they'd worked out an arrangement with the local teen Narcotics Anonymous group so that twice a week we would shut down the drive thru and the dining room and exclusively serve 60+ teens in various stages of recovery. And many of the women I worked with were in various stages of being out or transitioning and they were from all generations from teens to over 50. One woman I worked with had a regular corporate job presenting as a man 9-5 Mon-Fri and then came to Taco Bell and worked 6pm -2am Friday and Saturday night so she could be herself surrounded by other black transwomen in those stolen weekends. And we had customers come from all over the metro area because they knew they could be themselves in the dining room. I only worked there from 1999-2001 but for young me, this was a vital, formative experience. Some of the girls came from north city all the way out to the "gay Taco Bell" on Manchester in west county because they heard it was safe to work there. Like- I know times have changed but they haven't changed much in 20 years. I'm still convinced that for lgbt youth, finding a job at your city's version of the "gay Taco Bell" is key to survival.
Thank u for sharing this with us
movie sub-genres • space opera
space opera is a subgenre of science fiction that emphasizes science fictional space warfare, with use of melodramatic, risk-taking space adventures and chivalric romance.
THE FIFTH ELEMENT (1997) dir. Luc Besson —costume design & original sketches by Jean Paul Gaultier
The Fifth Element (1997) dir. Luc Besson
Cybersix 🦹🏻❤️🔥 with two different versions because im indecisive but i love them 🏳️🌈

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Anyways, Cybersix.
CYBERSIX Cybersix / Season One / Episode 02 / Data 7 and Julian