Spoonbones

Job hunting has been going terribly since I’ve graduated from college, so I’m switching over to plan b. Does anyone know any CEOs that I can shake hands with?

I hope whoever came up with the idea to put personality tests in job applications is in the deepest pit of hell. Why the hell are you asking if I’m an innovator 30 times? I just want some fucking health insurance

I just learned that allergies can lead to smell hallucinations! This would have been a cool moment if it wasn’t for the fact that the way I found out by smelling ozone in my parents house while house sitting for them. I just spent like half an hour looking for the source of the smell to make sure there wasn’t gonna be an electrical fire before I realized my nose was way too congested to smell anything 🙃

I’m taking a film and culture class this semester and the early history of film is honestly so hilarious. Thomas Edison wanted to monopolize movies but then this french magician comes out of nowhere and makes the first ever movie with a narrative in the form of La Voyage Dans Le Lune, and it’s the most french ass film ever. Then the french magician never makes a movie like that ever again. Meanwhile Edison’s panicking because he still wants a monopoly so he hires an american guy to make a narrative film that’s more popular so people can give him money instead. The guy makes The Great Train Robbery and it’s the most american ass film ever, and then he never makes a movie like that ever again. Then The Great Train Robbery becomes so popular that a bunch of film studios pop up ensuring that Edison never gets the monopoly he wanted.

I’ve learned recently that no matter what you do on the internet, if you live in a red state google’s personalized ads algorithm will just give you nonstop turning point usa ads. It doesn’t matter that most of my purchase history is queer novels, horror novels, and queer horror novels, google thinks I want nothing more than to watch nonstop videos of a weird faced man who believes the height of political discourse is combining high school debate club with the shittiest, most toxic meme subreddit you’ve ever seen.

I recently decided to give Beastars a shot and bought the first volume the other day. Ever since I bought it, though, my brother’s been poking fun and has been jokingly calling it my “furry porn”. It’s been taking all of my self control to not point out that he was wildly into Blacksad not too long ago.

It’s almost hilarious how different the final seasons of Lower Decks and What We Do in the Shadows are. Lower Decks has been absolutely determined to go out with a bang to the point where they even found a way to make garashir canon. Meanwhile wwdits basically said “fuck it” and has dedicated a season long subplot to Guillermo becoming a finance bro. It’s definitely a weird time to be a fan of both shows.

I went to a bookstore the other day and saw a novel called “Bored Gay Werewolf” and I immediately bought it. I didn’t even stop reading the summary or anything, I just know that based on the title I’m most likely the target audience for this book.

I’m so fucking tired. Every election my vote gets drowned out by the bullshit that is the electoral college of Texas and I have no choice but to go “oh well, better luck next time”. The only problem though is that there won’t be better luck because the one thing I can rely on is poor voter turnout. Now I’m stuck in my apartment wondering if me staying here to try and make a difference is following in the footsteps of Granny Weatherwax and doing what’s right even though it isn’t easy, or if it’s more following the footsteps of crazy puritans who flogged themselves whenever they had an impure thought. I wish I could just hibernate and let the world pass me by like an actual bear, but unfortunately I’m just the useless gay kind.

Back when I was in intro to archaeology, my professor showed us a documentary about the Piltdown Man Hoax and who could have planted the skull. Now if you’ve heard anything about Piltdown Man, you’d immediately suspect Charles Dawson, the amateur archaeologist who discovered the skull and is also linked to a few other fraudulent discoveries. The documentary, though, wasn’t satisfied with just having the most likely and obvious suspect, and so it went through every possible person they could link to the skull in order to build a sense of mystery. I’ve since forgotten most of the suspects, but one that I remember even better than I remember Charles Dawson was ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE. Despite having zero actual connections to the skull, the fact that Doyle was a known prankster, was allegedly seen around the area the skull was discovered a day prior, and was apparently being mocked by scientists for believing in spiritualism was enough evidence for this documentary. The documentary also tried to claim that The Lost World could have been his admission of guilt, but if you thought the previous evidence was rocky then this is straight up fairy tale territory. Anyways, since that documentary Arthur Conan Doyle being responsible for Piltdown Man has been a conspiracy theory I choose to believe, not because I actually think it happened but because it be so hilarious if that was the actual truth.

There will never be a book series quite like Discworld. One second you’re reading the silliest pun you’ve ever seen, the next second you’re either reading about how social and economic inequality leads to flaws the justice system or about how realizing our mortality can make us celebrate life more, and then several months later you finally learn about a niche historical event that Terry Pratchett used for a joke.