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@spookyqueer
if u wear cowboy clothes are u ranch dressing

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A Little Reminder 🥰 (W/ @domgoldofficial)
HE LEETLE FEETSYS
very glad to see this post reduced everyone else mental capacity for communication as well
Restaurants and bars really love to test your sobriety by making the route to their bathrooms as labyrinthine as possible
Me: I'm not that drunk
Me trying to figure out where the Fuck they've hidden the restrooms in this bar: So this is how Odysseus felt huh
Everyone tagging this post with their local bars/restaurants that have ridiculous bathroom layouts.....I see u. I am u. We are all Odysseus, and our Ithaca is a toilet covered in stickers.
ok I just HAVE to include this picture from inside the bathroom door of this one bar I went to
only one of these knobs work and it's not the one that's a different color from the rest
There’s a tourist trap in NYC called the Jekyll and Hyde Club. It’s kitsch, overpriced, and kinda fun. The elevator is wonky on purpose, there’s animatronic talking heads on the walls, the paintings talk, the waiters are dressed up, and it’s all interactive. I’ve been there a few times.
But the bathroom?
This is the hallway to the bathroom. You have to read the titles of the books to figure it out. And they don’t tell you how to get in.
Riddle me piss!
Okay riddle me piss caught me off guard and now instead of being angry that these bathrooms exist I'm trying not to laugh and wake everyone up
poor baby drank too much milk :(
lost in the sauce
HE’S SO ROUNDE

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Black Morticia Addams vibes
📷 Amber Griffin
I just wanna say, you describing your aesthetic as "pastel haunted barbie mansion" makes me think of the faces people make when i describe my aesthetic as "tropical goth". it's often somewhere between "what the hell is that?" and "why am i not surprised"
Yeeees, that’s probably one of my other favorite if rarely seen goth aesthetics! :D I once watched a house renovation on YouTube which was full on tropical goth and the couple were just living their best lives.
And yeah, people either get mildly confused when you talk about different types of goth, and you don’t look a certain way. Or they are some type of goth and get really bent out of shape because you’re the wrong type of goth i.e. not dressed all in black like an explosion at hot topic.
I sometimes get shit for my love of color, but I get more annoyed when it gets referred to as a “tumblr thing” when my sparkly pastel vibe ass has been part of the gothabilly scene since the early 2000’s. Same with tropical goth. I think the first time I heard the term was maybe around the 2010s when it got lumped in as a type of gothabilly , and how both are some new fad when gothabilly has been around since the 70’s and tropical goth is actually a huge part of gothic subculture in places like Mexico and Colombia.
It’s almost like black clothing and makeup is just one side of a many-faceted subculture that predates the 90’s, or something, lol.
anytime someone talks about “double texting” im just like. sorry. cant relate. every single person i actually text will receive 14 texts in a row at 11pm about whatever random thing im thinking about
I always get confused when people apologize for texting. Like, dude, my phone volume hasn’t been on since I bought this phone and it is face down at night, you could text me at any time as much as you want and I’ll respond whenever I notice them without any though of the time or volume of responses I send back. Relax and reach out freely, babies
My favourite harmless prank I've heard of was done by this girl whose dad was a geologist, and they'd go on day hikes with his geologist friends/co-workers and when she got bored on them she'd habitually pick up a random rock and go ask him what it is, and one of them would explain what kind of a rock that is, how it probably got here, and usually some notions of the more unusual features the rock had, if any.
And she had a friend who had once gone on a tourist trip to Iceland and brought back a volcanic rock. So she borrowed the rock and took it with her on the hike, and after two randomly picked up "hey dad what rock is this", she presented the volcanic rock, in the same fashion as all the others.
3 minutes later there are five middle-aged and older men circled around this mysterious rock, all agreeing on what it is, but not why it is. They keep asking her questions, where did she find it? Were there any other rocks around there that looked like it? Was it like this on the ground? People walking past the group try to stretch their necks to see over the geologists' shoulders to see what's the source of such amazement.
And in the end she couldn't take it anymore, burst into laughter and confessed. The geologists agree that it was pretty clever.

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Older Black gay men in long term relationships are rarely covered or seen by main stream media.
Here's the article, very well worth the read
Sure i’ll reblog that
my favorite thing about bats is when they scream at you and they look like this
moodboard
@mother-entropy
I AM THE NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
youre telling me an F1 car gets a pit crew and i get one jackass with adhd?
reblogging for that comment jhc
Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk
“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”
Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?
Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby
Husband: RIVETING!
Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️
Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!
Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk
All of tumblr collectively at my husband:
Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream
Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!
Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued
Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

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Hospital T-Rex
Imagine being rushed into the ER and reading this as they push you through though
Lol when my appendix burst, I had initially refused to go to the ER because it was a Saturday night (which are always busy helltimes for ERs of course) - and when I arrived I was told there were eight people ahead of me. I agreed and just asked for something to drink and something for the nausea. They took my vital signs, looked at each other, and then whisked me back immediately to a room and within five minutes the ER attending physician came in (as opposed to a resident physician).
“Hahaha, holy shit, am I dying?” I asked him - because HOSPITAL T-REX IS CORRECT
Okay but the T-Rex has abs drawn onto it in pen.
He came in for abdominal implant surgery.
Frankly, a lot of Tumblr posts that are described as “rollercoasters” are nothing of the sort. A rollercoaster has both ups and downs – it doesn’t just repeatedly escalate until it escapes the pull of Earth’s gravity and goes shooting off to Saturn. I’m not sure what that is, but any carnival that featured one would probably get shut down.