Hi Betts. Do you have any advice on describing facial expressions? I find myself returning to the same old "furrowed brows" and "raised eyebrows" etc. and can't seem to communicate the subtleties of the expressions that I see in my head. Thank you so much!
unfortunately, while prose is an excellent mechanism with which to describe the internal experience of being, it is a deeply ineffective one with which to describe our external reality, despite what the show-donât-tell purists would have you believe. the more i think about the idea of fiction as existing in part to render reality, the more i wonder why historically so many english novelists have chosen to shoot themselves in the foot by committing to that ideology, considering how fucking hard it is.Â
i plan to touch on this in a different sort of context in februaryâs newsletter which will be about the depiction of compulsory reality in fiction, but for now letâs focus specifically on facial expressions.
part of the magic of fiction is being able to âseeâ something in your imagination, condense that image into language, write it, and then have it be read by an audience who can then see that very same image, or at least their approximation of it, in order to derive meaning within a narrative. and isnât that all raised eyebrows really do? what does it mean to witness someone raising their eyebrows? in fiction, writing a non-pov character raising their eyebrows means:
you, the writer, have defined the non-pov characterâs cognition > you, the writer, have then developed that cognition into a facial expression for your pov character to witness > you, the writer, lend language to the depiction of that non-accessible cognition cum facial expression through the pov of accessible cognition > they, the reader, witness the image of the non-pov characterâs raised eyebrows > they, the reader deduce (through the pov characterâs narration, through the non-pov characterâs action, through the non-pov characterâs non-accessible cognition, through you, the writerâs, intention) that the non-pov character is surprised
so with all that said, how the FUCK can you be expected to do that transaction elegantly.
first iâm going to tell you what i think most writers and writing teachers would tell you, and then iâm going to tell you how i see it, and neither of them are going to be fun answers.
many writers, particularly of the show-donât-tell variety, would tell you (and of course theyâd never show you, because theyâre hypocrites) that it is simply your job as a writer to understand the english language well enough -- and take enough time on the page to -- describe, as you say, the subtleties of the expressions that you see in your head. but of course, those same writers may also tell you never to use adjectives or adverbs, to elevate your verbs, and complicate your diction. they would tell you that if something is worth rendering (and to them, everything is worth rendering), then itâs worth rendering meaningfully. itâs worth taking an entire paragraph to artfully convey the exact way oneâs eyebrows rise up oneâs forehead, without resorting to âtellingâ the reader that one is shocked.Â
oof city. i mean, i get it. fiction exists to lend us the witness of alternate realities we canât otherwise experience. but also it can also only ever be a facsimile of that experience through what is basically groupings of squiggles on a page. with writing, to paraphrase an ancient text, youâve gotta pick your battles. and then, pick fewer battles. put some of those battles back.
so hereâs my answer, which is easier but also in some ways harder: you can never truly convey the subtleties of the expressions you see in your head. the work of the writer is not, as much as we may like it to be, the same as a cinematographer or an actor. at some point, you have to let go of the idea of descriptive control. once itâs out of your head and into someone elseâs, itâs no longer in your grasp. eventually, a story belongs to its readers.
i know, this is a deeply unpopular opinion and one which does not make me any friends in the literary community. it goes wholly against the entire history of âshow donât tellâ and the lovely work of early novelists to lift the form to its present regard.Â
what iâm saying is, sometimes you just have to fucking say âhe looked surprisedâ and move on.
so, thatâs all the theory surrounding raised eyebrows to hopefully offer you some deeper insight, or at least an alternate perspective. hereâs some practical application you can play around with to see what works for you:
when editing, remove ALL of your descriptions of facial expressions
iâm sorry if you feel like youâve just been socked in the stomach. bear with me here. do a revision where you get rid of all of your descriptions of facial expressions to see how the piece stands up. you will very quickly see the narrative gaps, the places where you lose or flatten meaning. then, add only those expressions back in. youâll be surprised how little you need.
play with telling over showing, or vice versa
replace a few âhe raised his eyebrowsâ with âhe looked surprised.â replace a few âhe looked upsetâ with âhe lowered his head and glanced down at his clasped hands.â see how they differ? âshowingâ is factual and requires the reader to interpret the action. âtellingâ is an interpretation/conclusion drawn by the narrator and conveyed to the reader. one is not inherently superior to the other. they both do different kinds of work, and have different narrative effects.
use facial expressions to complicate or conflict with dialogue, not confirm it
âhe raised his eyebrows. âiâm surprised,â he said.â <-- thatâs a very silly example, but i just want to show you how sometimes you can let the dialogue do the dirty work. if a character says something, and their facial expression matches the thing theyâre saying, it is maybe not worth mentioning the expression. or vice versa, maybe they make an expression instead of saying something. or maybe thereâs a reason you do need both. itâs going to depend on the scene and your narrator.
however, if what their face is doing is in conflict with what theyâre saying such that it would alter the meaning of the dialogue, then perhaps itâs worth noting.Â
âhe glanced down at his clasped hands. âiâm fine,â he said.â <-- in this case, the factual description of his action gives us, the reader, the sense that he is l y i n g.
bonus: ââiâm fine,â he said, but he looked upset.â <-- whatâs wrong with that? nothing. itâs simple, itâs concise, it tells us about the perception and capacity of the narrator. no, it doesnât allow the reader to âseeâ anything, but as iâve mentioned, i donât think the work of fiction is to âseeâ things. itâs to experience them, and sometimes that has more to do with the capabilities and limitations of your narrator than it does by clinging to the belief that you have to render the shiny surfaces of reality.
i hope this helps! more on the depiction of reality in februaryâs newsletter.Â
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