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@spookycactibeliever
in love with ilya's facial expression when he's disagreeing with the timeline because he's looking at YUNA when he starts talking like
"no, no, he is wrong. one second. let me get him together. i can't believe he is embarassing me like this in front of my future mother-in-law. please hold."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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βcanβt believe you treat your gf like this Hollander πβ has me crying lmao please someone write this
thinking about shane who in his late 30βs discovers that he might be autistic and kind of freaks out about it because heβs already the gay hockey player and the asian hockey player he doesnβt also want to be the autistic hockey player with all the negative stereotypes it comes with but he finally confides in ilya one day and says i think i might have autism and ilya gives him a soft look and says yes i think maybe you do and at first shane gets a little angry at ilya because why does it seem like you knew? how did you know? why didnβt you tell me? and ilya says because i think you deserve to figure out how you feel without me plantning ideas in your head and no matter what you would still be my shane, trying to be all sweet about it and shane gives him a careful look and asks is that why you havenβt turned on the overheard light in 2 years and ilya sighs and nods
Heated Rivalry is a closed door hockey romance in the sense that they fade to black on the hockey. The sex is explicit, but the hockey is implied.
Ilya meeting Shane's parents must be insane for them like. Mr Ilya "The Terminator" Rozanov, terror on ice and menace in bed, politely stands there. Your very shy son admonishes him for using the word "lovers" and Russia's Greatest Rage Machine just takes it.
You ask when this started and Mister Dickhead makes sure Shane is accurate about when they started this. How dare you stave off half a year of us, Shane?
You ask if they talked to Scott Hunter and Ra Ra Rasputin says that he, famous asshole extraordinaire went to talk to Patron Saint of Hockey Gays to offer him congratulations.
You ask if he has no loyalty to Boston and Mr Fucking Fuck San Francisco is like. Nyet
Your son is having a panic attack and Miike Snow Genghis Khan calls them "boyfriends" and it's your own extremely shy and sensitive and loving son that is like MY WHAT
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I understand that people have issues with ep 3, but Iβm grateful for it bc it gave us the Scott/Shane fight and therefore all of these great posts on Tumblr.com
what shane says: im gay
what shane means: i can never love a woman in any way resembling the way i love you and when i tried she called my shit IMMEDIATELY so what im trying to say is i can't sidestep whatever we are the way you can, i will never ever love anyone but u
what ilya hears: somewhere along the line of our multi-year situationship that began with me immediately sucking ur dick, i have determined that i like men.
what ilya says: ya no fucking shit bro what
We had a little bit of flashbacks in ep. 5 where Shane was reminiscing about Ilya during his dinner with Rose. But listen. Jacob. Listen to me. I feel very strongly that we need to tell the story of Ryan Price walking in on them kissing at the previous years hockey camp in a flashback, followed by a skip forward to him sitting staring at a wall thinking he is the only person who knows this gigantic secret and that Shane very well might murder him, he's not fully sure, but he knows he needs to take this to his GRAVE.
Fabian is like "babe are you okay?" and Ryan with one eye twitching goes "YUP GREAT NEVER BETTER".
The comedy potential is ripe for the taking.
Ilya Rozanov: Here's some advice.
Literally Any Queer Hockey Player: I didn't ask for any.
Ilya Rozanov: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and that makes me your problem.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I think people are missing out on how fucking funny it would be to have Ryan Price in season 2 of Heated Rivalry.
Like, imagine you're this retired hockey player who really just wants to chill with your beautiful famous singer boyfriend. You're living your best life, happily-ever-after style. You've been thinking about maybe starting a career working with children, your boyfriend is sending you pics of cute pastries, and basically, life is good.
Then, while you're just looking for paperwork for this summer camp that you're started working at, you walk in on you bosses making out sloppy style. Your bosses which just happen to be SHANE HOLLANDER and ILYA ROZANOV, ie the best hockey players in the fucking league right now. So, now you've stumbled over this huge scandalous gay love affair between the most high-profile generational-talent hockey players of your generation. So, obviously you freak out. They freak out. Everyone's freaking out
And then you guys calm down and talk and you manage to convey that you won't tell anyone, because y'know you're not an asshole and Jesus Christ it's the most awkward shit you've ever sat through and then thank god everyone says it's good and you walk out of there, and you're so so so glad it's over.
But then you realize it is not over actually and this is actually The Worse (tm).
Because now you KNOW and you can never UNKNOW about this goddam stupid secret Romeo&Juliet gay-ass romance and you're wishing so fucking bad you didn't know because being in on this huge secret is FREAKING you the FUCK out and you can't even tell your boyfriend because that would be shitty and omg what if you're the only one who knows about them, you're not ready for this kind of pressure HOLY SHIT you'd have thought the two best players in the whole goddam MHL would've learned to lock the FUCKING doors before having an illicit makeout session in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY at their FUCKING place of WORK christ you're having a panic attack-
It's so funny how Kip, Kyle, and Fabian are all non-hockey people who hate seeing their partners fight and get so worried about every injury and when they meet Harris (at the wedding without chairs) they think he's One of Them but then Harris is like no? I love hockey? my boyfriend only punches dickheads I love seeing him fight it's very sexy???
Meanwhile Ilya and Shane are reminiscing about shoving each other into the boards wondering when they can make it happen again.
Scott & Kip, Ryan & Fabian, Eric & Kyle, Troy & Harris: the genre is Hallmark.
All these people have struggles but for the most part are fairly well-adjusted, self-aware, fulfilled and successful (to varying degrees). Meeting that special someone gives a whole new meaning to their lives. Usually they solve the other thing along the way and live happily ever after.
Shane & Ilya: the genre is Nicholas Sparks.
Life is a fucking nightmare and these people are so traumatised, but at least they have each other.
RACHEL REID I JUST WANNA TALK
more about that hockey world
can we talk about ryan price oh my god
ryan price is a big viking-looking dude people donβt want to get into fights with, who even creepy dallas kent backs off of, but also has clinical anxiety and carries a copy of anne of green gables with him on every flight
ryan price goes to a community center to play hockey with kids and asks a staff member if she is anne with an e
ryan price worries he is not a fancy enough hockey player for the kids
ryan price feels desperately inadequate around a bunch of broke artsy queer types
ryan price fucking loves it when men wear makeup and give two fingers to what "masculine" is supposed to be
ryan price was quietly out before scott hunter kissed his boyfriend on the ice
ryan price makes ilya rozanov go into caring mode
ryan price walks in on rozanov and his secret boyfriend making out TWICE
ryan price thinks his giant dick is ugly
ryan price brings good champagne to brunch for the broke artsy queers
ryan price is so in love with his musician boyfriend he is a total idiot
ryan price is on medication that makes orgasms tricky and does therapy over skype
ryan price is always the enforcer but sometimes he scores goals and it makes him so happy
ryan price is terrified of flying and for almost a decade does it anyway because that's what the job involves (troy barrett later realizing his bravery is awesome)
RYAN PRICE you guys!
they watched all that shit happen and finally went βyou are all like little babies. watch this.β
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Just some little Scott x Kip appreciation πβΛβΉβ‘
You can find it as a sticker and keychain HERE
wohoo I actually finished something I planned :D matching Hollanov puck to the Skip one β₯
Sticker and keychain HERE :)
