Oh Heart, Stop Making A Fool Of Me

how is it that i am distracted by everything yet paying attention to nothing

One of the rare times Eric Andre broke character

my hidden talents include romanticising everything, oversharing, crying, and overthinking 

yo the simpsons be droppin truth bombs sometimes.

I can take hints but i want to hear you say it

Every apex predator, looking at a capybara chilling: “…nah, I can’t eat this dude, that would be fucked up”

this advertising is so effective that it made me want to go buy a brand that’s been defunct for 40-something years

it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”

the day steve irwin died this one kid stood at the school gate yelling the news over and over as everyone went home like… it was so important that he literally took on the role of town crier… and no one believed him…

this is one of the cutest most fucking delightful things i’ve ever seen.