hi

daddy has regretfully informed kitten that we need a dual income household to survive

cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.

Hey op google what LCD stands for

i took an oath in third grade to never do drugs

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

it was pneumonia.

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

he shot her point blank

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

I also reblog this guys dead wife.

i just figured out how to save the world. all we have to do is find and excise the undesireables. i mean just look at how much good all the examples of it in the past have done *opens history book* oops not that one *flips page* oops not that one *flips page* oops not that one *flips page* oops not that one *fli

playing stupid games i can't wait to see what kind of prizes they have

YAYY

when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil

REMEMBER IF YOU HONK ALLYOU AT ME I WILL HONK HONK IF YOU GET ANY CLOSER U HAVE TO HONK IF IF YOU WILL IF I HONK MYSELF WANT HONK IF YOU HAVE EVER BEEN PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY HONK