Gaabii

     “I see! Those, Puyo Puyo? …creatures pop when you put the same color together!”

    “Yeah! And then, if you add a chain…”

    “It’s a Puyo battle!”

We were teaching Ally about Puyo battling as we made our way to our goal.

    “Ally, you’ve never seen Puyo Puyo? In Primp Town, they’re everywhere.”

At my question, Ally made a face of deep regret. “Uhm…” she mumbled, diverting her eyes.

Protagonist: Hey, did a man just run through here?

Complete Stranger: Tall guy? Bit of a gut? Wearing a gray Tommy Hilfiger suit with a white dress shirt underneath? Small mustard stain on his tie? Brown, medium-length hair? Purple skin? Devil horns? Yodeling Oesch’s die Dritten Zillertaler Bravourjodler?

Protagonist: That’s him!

First of all, stop defacing stock in someone’s store. You’re not clever or saving the planet or anything. You’re making it hard for customers to shop and see the info they need on the label (yardage, weight, dye lot)… You’re making employees spend hours peeling the damn things off, and in some cases, you’re causing damage to the label and or yarn itself. That means loss to the company, which affects employees who probably make minimum wage, you shit bags. You want to make change happen? Contact corporate, you fuckhead. That’s where decisions are made.

Second of all, wool is not murder. Are you fucking stupid? (Obviously the answer is yes). It’s a fucking haircut for a sheep. They’ve been domesticated so long that if we don’t sheer them, it’s bad. Yes, some sheep don’t live in ideal conditions. Got a problem with that? Going to a yarn store and putting stickers on things isn’t going to change it or the minds of customers. For fuck’s sake, you absolute cockwomble, go to the yarn companies. Make them use wool providers that use humane conditions for their yarn, like A LOT OF YARN COMPANIES DO.

And third of all.

You. You precious, empty-headed little shitnugget. You complete and total sawdust-for-brains.

You put your fucking stickers all over acrylic yarn.

There’s no fucking wool in there. It’s all synthetic fiber. Basically, it’s plastic.