ABEL

using dating apps feels like playing an indie horror game made for a gamejam at this point in my life

Just bought an evil book. Gosh, I sure hope it doesn't have a bunch of evil things in it. I wouldn't want that from my evil book.

I don’t understand the impetus for all the things I say

moment of unspeakable beauty today when one of my coworkers called another coworker "judas" for not splitting a can of white monster with her, and i got to watch the guy who sits next to me open a new google tab, type in "jeudis," and say quietly to himself "french thursday...?"

my friend liz downloaded some free audio software a few months ago to do something and now every time she joins a call a female voice says “trial. trial.” and liz doesn’t remember the name of the software or know how to stop it and she doesn’t want to

my friend liz had her spotify account hacked and literally didn’t realize for a year until I was talking about my decade in review playlist and she looked at hers and it was all brazilian music and she was like oh this explains why I would go to sleep listening to classical music and wake up and it’s playing trap. and also why there are like 30 playlists on my account that I didn’t make. she just thought spotify was like that

hand to god at some point my friend liz managed to fuck up her install of Portal so bad that it was displaying minecraft textures

tonight she very carefully explained that there’s been a screw rattling around in her laptop for months but today it stopped which means it’s wedged on something and then the image on the screen started sliding sideways but she rebooted three times and now it’s fixed. and then an hour later she dropped from the call