Fuck Bus To hobbiton

What type of car would LotR/TH characters drive? (TW: mentions of alcohol)

✨Frodo

Scares the shit out of people by staring them directly in the eye without blinking but if you looked inside his mind, it'd be a rotating PNG of a fish, he just dissociates a lot

Would absolutely steal stuff in Claire's. He's really good at it.

Doesn't smoke, yet he is the one who gets asked the most out of the four hobbits for a light.

He strikes me as a stomach problems & back pain girlie.

🌻Sam

He looks like a bread guy for me. I like bread.

Full on conversations with his plants. Mainly gossip about the Shire, and how dashing Mister Frodo was looking today, can you believe it?

The only hobbit with a driving license (Frodo can't bc of depression and dissociation; Merry got pulled over and got his license revoked for having weed in his car; Pippin is a minor).

🍁Merry

You know these videos where a girl (usually) records her partner while they're cuddling and he's so whiny and talking like a princess, and suddenly he sees the phone and forces his voice like three octaves lower? Yeah...

Narrates everything that everyone in the fellowship does during the journey like it's a nature documentary. Stopped pretty quickly after Moria.

The Walter White of Middle Earth if he could get away with it, let's be honest.

🌱Pippin

Had a phase where he ate anything he saw. Mainly stopped after Merry made him cry by teasing him that if he kept eating ants, they would eat him from inside out. He still munches on flowers when he's bored. Aragorn has given up on telling him to be careful in case one is poisonous, but Boromir suffers mini heart attacks daily.

Accidentally mansplains to everyone he knows but that's because he gets very excited with his hyperfixations! He has no idea why he doesn't have any luck in love, and Merry is like "dude shut the fuck up..."

Is like these children who will constantly ask "why" to their parents, and Boromir tries to be nice and genuine for him but he eventually gets tired. "But, why?" "Because I fucking said so!" "Okay... but why?"

I feel like he cries pretty easily about everything and anything. He is just very sensitive, and feels emotions really strongly.

🗡️Aragorn

Hates parties; when he is forced to attend one, he will sit in one corner and sip on his drink. Gets really drunk and texts Arwen. "How was the party, meleth nín?" "Me, yes."

Hyperfixates on the weirdest things like Pippin, but his autism shows in the most deadpan way possible so he just stands there like "i like swords" and will emotionlessly list you all the characteristics of your weapon of choice. If you looked inside his mind, you'd see he is REALLY excited. He just doesn't know how to show it.

🏹Legolas

For some reason, I feel like he'd know a super random skill? Like ventriloquism. Recreates the "hi my name is snapple" video with Gimli just to fuck with him.

Can actually whistle with a leaf, idk how he does this, but it's the only 'instrument' he can play (apart from his voice if you want to get nitpicky with me) lol this elf does not have a single musical bone.

⛏️Gimli

Crystal girlie. Gives Frodo an encyclopaedia on all the types of healing properties and characteristics of every kind of gem and stone.

Really good medical skills. The rest of the fellowship regularly forget his uncle is Oín, so they're dumbfounded when Gimli gives advice to Aragorn, who is the only one that isn't surprised and actually listens to him when patching up Frodo lmfao

🛡️Boromir

Talks like someone out of a Shakespeare play and is dumbfounded when everyone in the fellowship is like "sup bro"

Keeps a heart locket with a picture of Faramir he likes to show like a proud dad does with his kids' wallet photos. Faramir was horrified when he learned of this and stopped talking to him for a month

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Nothing wrong with a mid-quest-hot-spring-nap with the bros after sprinting like 7 consecutive marathons 🤍🤍

Absurd headcanon

Warning : this is not serious. this was made out of whim, late at night. not editing done. Just for fun. And not all of them are funny anyway. You've been warned! - Feel free to add characters and headcanon. I forgot a few : Haldir, Hama, Theoden, Saruman, Treebeard and so on. I hope you will all have fun and play with this! (OC welcome - thinking of my moots with awesome OC).

First of all, a disclaimer: this is my own opinion and I will not care if you think otherwise. Second of all, I always gift books to my friends and family, and I've never got a complaint, so that has to count for something. I'm also putting some of my favourite books but that's just me of course ♡

Frodo:

Sloggiest classical high fantasy books you can find. Yknow these '90s fantasy books with like eleven books in a series, and each book is at least 500 pages long? He would love that.

I'm currently reading the first book of Crown of Stars (seven books baby), which is like an alternate fantasy medieval Europe, with lots of details and research done and it's super gritty and entertaining. Frodo would inhale that. The rest of the Fellowship are worried for him, they haven't seen him in days.

Sam:

Fantasy and poetry because he's cool like that.

Something not to complicated like Uprooted by Naomi Novik, and then he will surprise you by reading something super dark like Blood Over Bright Haven by M.L. Wang.

Also really likes literary fiction. Idk he strikes me as someone who would like reading about people's lives, and a plot where the action is less important than the characters evolution. Tried to read weird lit but didn't like that the main themes were rot and body fluids, it reminds him of Frodo during the Quest.

Merry:

I'm basing this on personal experience; but every time I see a cute guy either on the bus or on the Friday train, they'll be reading something like Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, or something by Hemingway, which does not strike trust, and it's a bit pretentious and on the nose. Like are you really reading Marcel Proust for fun? Be honest with me, my guy, you looked gay (for legal reasons this is a joke).

He likes non-fiction. Some of the books he has are Tristes Tropiques by Claude Lévi-Strauss; Folie et déraison by Michel Foucault; and he once even started talking about how he didn't really agree with Freud's Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis. The glare that the rest of the Fellowship gave him could have killed Sauron on the spot.

Pippin:

I doubt his AuDHD allows him to read anything really dense (or maybe he hyperfixates so badly that he reads one book in less than 12 hours who knows)

Graphic novels and comics are a must in his bookshelf! Eventually becomes a Marvel brainrot fan, to the dismay of everyone else, especially Aragorn who has to pay for the merch.

YA fantasy bc I'm taking into account his age. Percy Jackson hyperfixation and that's why he's gay now (again a joke)

Aragorn:

Romantasy but not of his own volition, he is just a really good partner, and Arwen seems to me like a romantasy girlie. Poor guy has been forced to read A Court of Thorns and Roses, and Fourth Wing, and Powerless. Put the limit at Colleen Hoover (not saying that Arwen likes her either, she just likes to make Aragorn suffer like a good gf). Will deny again and again to the rest of the Fellowship that he likes any of these books, and once even drew his sword at Boromir.

Legolas:

These random ass raunchy period romance books you find on your mother's bookcase just lying there and you read them out of curiosity and end up learning about things you should not be aware of yet, and they're not even written well but you can't stop reading. Chick lit, if you want.

Has read the Bridgerton books multiple times.

Gimli:

Science fiction. Gets really nerdy about alien invasions, but it's not like he believes in any conspiracy theory of course. Legolas barely understands what he's talking about half of the time but who cares when your boyfriend is that cute.

He loves and actually understands pretty well space operas. The Final Architecture trilogy by Adrian Tchaikovsky, and Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir are favourites of his.

Boromir:

Sports romance. HOCKEY. He just likes the whole "turn off your brain to enjoy this" honestly, he needs a break sometimes of course!

Read Vampire Academy out of curiosity and really liked it, though he does admit it and Faramir will act like he doesn't know him (it's actually a good saga I'm sorry okay)

Faramir:

This guy right here owns the entire Realm of the Elderlings book saga. It pains me to admit that he would relate a lot with Fitz.

Heartstopper by Alice Oseman because he's not dead inside, okay?

Éowyn:

Really basic sorry but she is a Hunger Games girlie through and through.

Actually, I feel she would like dystopian fiction a lot. Has watched Divergent (only the first movie, the rest are trash) with Faramir more times than she can count. Faramir gets cold sweats whenever he hears something that reminds him of the movie (he knows the dialogues by heart)

Éomer:

Sauron should have been obsessed with Frodo.

He's all-powerful. He can have anyone under his control simply by getting into their heads and learning their hidden desires. Sauron is the best when it comes to exposing corruption within souls, even if it's someone who's generally known as a good person. One push from Sauron and their true nature comes to the surface.

But Frodo is different. He has what other victims of Sauron don't. Purity. He endures all the pain the One Ring makes him go through and Sauron feeds off it. It's the most delicious nutriment for the creature of darkness. He wants to own this goodness, this light, but he can't, and it's driving him insane.

I'm kind of disappointed they didn't really show this in the trilogy. When you think about it, Sauron should watch Frodo's every step. Use every opportunity to whisper horrid things in his ear to make him bend. Keep him up at night and never let him rest until Frodo realizes where he belongs. He should want him so, so badly.

Ringtones, notifications and alarm sounds/songs/phrases for the fellowship!

Ready set go!

Moo~Moo~🍓🐄!

This is so random. I love it.

The fellowship’s notifications

Aragorn:

-No sounds

-Only vibrations

-Is annoyed by other people’s notifications

-Some basic ass bitch alarm; and just one, but he will press snooze a few times

Like Frodo is probably the most polite of the four hobbits, but he's also the oldest. A lot of his interactions with Merry and Pippin specifically read like he's an older and wiser big brother who enjoys teasing them. The movie kinda acts like Frodo is naive to a lot of Merry and Pippin's hijinks, but the books are clear that Frodo was also out there stealing crops from Farmer Magot, and it was probably his idea in the first place.

He's not above practical jokes, or being petty, or losing his temper. When they first set out from the Shire, a cute character detail is Frodo choosing to wake up everybody in kind of funny ways, scaring Sam awake by making him think he's slept in and is late for work, and yanking Pippin's blankets and basically rolling him down a hill. He's king of veiled insults and trying to let out his depression in funny ways like saying "Let's not worry about tomorrow, it probably won't come." Like when Sam thinks Frodo's messing with him when he starts saying Sam should be called the Stout-Hearted, it's not like there isn't a precedent for that kind of thing.

The movie also omits a lot of Frodo's badass moments and qualities, like when he manages to just barely cut the Witch King of Angmar on Weathertop, or when he makes his stand at the River while being chased by Nazgûl, or when he slices off the arm of the Barrow-wight, or when he confronts Sarumon. He also is the only of the four hobbits who can speak some elvish and is definitely the most worldly because he's spent so long with Bilbo. Usually most of the hobbits look to Frodo for advice or guidance.

Poor Sam was most probably expecting a well-mannered young hobbit with very nice clothing (and perhaps a snobbish attitude), someone like Mr Frodo, or perhaps even quiet, calm Meriadoc Brandybuck. While both have a mischievous streak, they're still well-to-do and obviously so in how they act and dress and interact with one another.

There is absolutely no way he was expecting an absolutely feral hobbit-child with far too much energy and a mouth that prattles on a-mile-a-minute about absolutely everything his mind comes across. Or Pippin's favourite hobby of singing loudly in every possible scenario, or vanishing off to climb a tree or catch a fish in a nearby brook. Bare-handed.

Sam: nah I’m just a little guy

The Ring: massive garden?

Sam: to much work. Would have to hire people. I’m good with my garden

One of the fellowship hobbits gets their foot bandaged, because sharp rocks, and:

Boromir and Aragorn walking behind the hobbit, watching him flap his foot every few paces:

Boromir leaning into Aragorns' side: why is he doing that?

Aragorn, squinting slightly: I don't know...

Boromir: kind of like a cat with leave stick to it's foot

Aragorn, remembering the hobbits sleep in a pile: yeaa, like cats