thinking about transfem metal sonic again bc sheās like. the most transfem character in fiction whos not in any way actually transfem or coded transfem like itās entirely unintentional and thatās what makes it so interesting to me. bc like her entire Thing is identity issues she was built to emulate, surpass, and be a superior version of sonic which like. we can talk about eggman hating sonic so much he literally made a better version of him as his own child another time but besides that metal's entire life has been being forced to fill the expectations placed on her to Be someone she can never be. and this is something that causes her a great deal of anguish! she literally has a mental breakdown over it itās something thatās clearly traumatic and distressing to her bc she canāt do it! defeating and proving herself superior to sonic is something inexorably linked to her, and both cause her nothing but misery and are both very literally dehumanising towards her. she clings to them, bc she has nothing else and itās the only path that sheās been allowed to even consider, but they donāt make her Happy. she wouldnāt be so fucking angry all the time if she was happy! but itās what sheās literally been programmed to believe she wants even though chasing that ambition provides her no joy or relief.
and in sonic heroes, the pressure makes her snap. if she Has to fill the mould sheās forced into, then itās the outside world saying sheās doing it wrong thatās the problem, because she Has to be perfect, right? metal sonic is the golden child out of all of her āsiblingsā, and while that means sheās not outright going to be destroyed by her father and faces much less verbal abuse and marginally more affection, it also means sheās forced to uphold the perfect image her father sees her as, else she fail and face the same treatment sheās seen her fellow badniks go through. and that image sheās always tried so, so hard to force herself to fit is that of her father's magnum opus, his masterpiece, a superior version of his enemy. and to be superior to sonic she has to Be sonic and so if everyone says sheās Not they have to be the ones in the wrong and not Her she has to be the real true superior sonic and she has to Prove it.
but the thing is, not only is she forcing herself into performing the perfect role set on her- one thatās specifically masculine- she also reinvents Herself. this is something in heroes a lot of people miss, but neo metal sonic isnāt an upgrade From Eggman to her (and also came After her breakdown, she did it Because she felt she couldnāt Beat Sonic And Therefore Be Him if she stayed the same) her neo form is entirely self designed, and it was done all by her own hands. neo metal sonic is probably the closest we can get to how metal actually wants to present herself to the world, thatās Literally just named to be the New Her, and. maāam this is a goth girl.
like. not only is she Literally Wearing A Skirt, not only does she Literally Have Eyeliner, she's also designed in such a way it looks like sheās wearing clothes, which feels silly to bring up until you remember sonic anthro characters almost universally only wear clothes if theyāre female. and neo metal sonic straight up has hatsune miku sleeves a belt with a flowy skirt and leg warmers but with spikes. like itās already fem as shit (in a emo edgy fourteen year olds oc way) but like i'm pretty sure by mobian standards this is about as feminine as a murderous robot can reasonably get. and while obviously that doesnāt = gender, metal specifically presenting as feminine in her idealised form she designed herself, while having a meltdown because sheās unable to Be A Specific Boy and is having an identity crisis bc sheās miserable trying to chase that is⦠like, thatās just a closeted trans girl innit. like this is Very Obviously not the intended read but like⦠itās an extremely obvious and resonant one?
metal is, canonically, a scared teenager. as in, she herself says that she was scared Before her transformation. sheās mentally like 15 afraid of failure with an abusive and neglectful father figure suffering from psychotic episodes brought about by golden child burnout. like thatās not how itās phrased in a 2003 game rated 3 and up but that is like, objectively whatās happening in sonic heroes sheās very open about her motives thatās just canon. which doesnāt make her Trying To Burn A Toddler Alive in any way not absolutely horrible like people forget how excited she was to murder a group that included Multiple small children in it brutally sheās fucked up. but her issues with her identity are more tragic than anything. her being dehumanised and treated only as A Superior Sonic broke her. and when she finally is able to express herself in any way, she's able to present as, well, a very edgy teenage goth girl but in robot form! sheās a fucked up and evil person but sheās also unable to be her true self and sheās scared and frightened and alone. and sheās not incapable of good! she Did sacrifice her life for shadow in rivals 2 like she can care for people sheās not inherently evil sheās a Person just one that steals your IP address. but what Makes her evil is sticking to a path and presentation that makes her evil.
tl;dr: canonically transitioning would have saved her (this was not an intentional story decision they just accidentally made her ideal form goth girl hatsune miku before hatsune miku was even an idea)