Spilt.Beans

imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and there’d be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales there’d be giant deer and just wow

you have a beautiful imagination

this gave me chills

this would make a really interesting anime

Oh fuck no…

Do u see… That fucking deer…

@a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy DEER ARE HERE

Here are the deer!

wow! what kind of chicken lay that egg

i hate when i go up north and go to restaurants and the waiter comes to take my order and im like “do yall have sweet tea??” and theyre like “no sweetheart but we have unsweetened iced tea and we can give you some sugar packets!!!” llike no you fucking yankee because now the tea is already cold so the sugar wont dissolve in it and itll all just sink the bottom and be nasty learn basic fucking solubility this is 9th grade chemistry thats why sweet tea exists in the first place you fucking heat the tea up to make it and then while its still hot you add the sugar and then you chill it and its sweet fucking tea i bet you pronounce pecan like peecan too you four seasons-having piece of shit

our kfc stores are doing this and i really hate it

I’m sorry, but the confusion of why your bathroom doesn’t have a door far outweighs any feelings of horror this might evoke.

can’t afford door.. the horror here is the realities of life

So what fuck was your wife knocking on

this dick

It’s not even 4 words???

“He ignored the instructions.”

Too bad the PC doesnt need recharging

Nope, gonna eat this time

sometimes when I close my eyes I can’t see

In case anybody needs this today

A sniper and a photographer meet in a bar, neither aware of the other’s occupation. They talk about ‘how to take the perfect shot’.

anal sneezes are cute as shit

sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time