So there are a few things in Good Omens that keep gnawing at me. The business suits in Hell. The (de)motivational posters in Hell. Crowley and Aziraphale’s changing fashions over time. The Spanish Inquisition being attributed to Crowley mostly because of his proximity to it (a commendation for which he definitely didn’t expect). Even Nazis in general and the bombing of London in particular. But mostly Crowley’s line, “Lovely, clever human people inventing cars and motorways and windscreen wipers.”
Neither Heaven nor Hell would have even thought to invent any of these things, good bad or neutral. Mostly because they don’t think—with two notable exceptions, of course.
When Crowley tempted Eve to eat the apple, he tempted her to think, to question, to investigate, to invent, to create. In that sense, tempting Eve (and by extension Adam), Crowley opened the door to bringing humanity closer to divinity than either angels or demons, themselves fallen angels.
And from Eve to Adam (Young), humans continually outstrip Aziraphale and Crowley in their ability imagine both good and evil, even considering Crowley’s unique ability among demons—imagination. He could never have imagined the Inquisition or Nazis or Bentleys. And Aziraphale could never imagine the divine things one Roman restauranteur could do with oysters or what his favorite sushi chef could do with raw fish or even the pleasures of hot chocolate.
Angels and demons, it appears, are incapable of expressing creativity. Even Gabriel admits, “I do like their suits”—presumably something angels wouldn’t have thought to design. Angels can’t even dance. But humans can both design fashion and create dance steps.
Purely by human influence, Azi learns to dance and Crowley grows his own garden. It’s true, Azi only knows one dance and Crowley puts the fear of himself into his plants to discourage them from brown spots. But they’re growing—something neither Heaven nor Hell is interested in and one assumes is incapable of doing.
Heaven and Hell are stagnant, waiting for orders, entirely absent of creativity or imagination or even just critical thinking. They follow orders and forget that the ineffable cannot, by definition, be ordered.
It’s not humans whom God tempts to destruction—it’s angels and demons. Humanity, in fact, saves Heaven and Hell precisely because they are closer to God—closer to ineffability—than either side of this celestial rugby match. Azi and Crowley spent 6,000 years not only with each other, but with humanity. They were the footholds humanity needed to ensure Heaven and Hell didn’t muck it up for the rest of us.
And as both Einstein and Herself confirmed: God does not play with dice. She knew Crowley, by his own nature, would encourage the humans to ask questions; She knew Azi would empathize with their plight and give them his flaming sword for protection from the elements. In the end, neither one did the good/right or bad/wrong thing.
Azi and Crowley did the ineffable thing.
They not only saved the world so they could drive too fast through London and shoo customers away from buying precious books—they saved Heaven and Hell from themselves.