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Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day

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Keni

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@waitedforgarridebs

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I mean do I even need to say it?
I saw somebody be wrong on the internet and I didn’t respond (don’t want to get involved) and I’m being SO brave about it
I should never have made this post because now every time it gets a new note I’m reminded of how wrong that one person on the internet was.
reblog to remind them how wrong that one person on the internet was
THEY WERE SO WRONG. ON THE INTERNET.
What were they wrong about?
NO I AM BEING SO BRAVE ABOUT IT
It’s been a year- I do believe that the silence has been expired
THEY SAID STORIES DON’T NEED CONFLICT BECAUSE HAYAO MIYAZAKI MOVIES ARE GREAT AND DON’T HAVE CONFLICT IN THEM
THEY SAID MIYAZAKI MOVIES
DON’T HAVE
CONFLICT
op you were in fact braver then any marine what the sam hell
some emergency alert operator just gave me a three minute taste of being an indie horror game protagonist jesus fuckin christ

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Ok, so, bottom surgery recovery is going ~splendidly~ tbh, I’ve been off opioids basically all week, she’s healing well, she even looks pretty which at under the one-month mark is making me feel pretty optimistic. The only problems it’s giving me are that sometimes if I see something really gross it makes my body feel like it’s trying to suck itself inward from my vagina, like a black hole generated by the power of “ew ew ew,” and that healing is really tiring so I’m like…always sleepy. But tbh most of bottom surgery recovery has been peaceful, I’ve had a lot of time to do some self-reflection (which I hate, doing my own therapy as a patient suuuuuucks), BUT, I do have one funny story:
Right as I wake up there’s a nurse there who hustles over and says he’s glad he saw me wake up and tells me he’s giving me some pain meds and then he gives me IV Fentanyl and so I go from like “Ow ow ow ow awake awake awake” to “ooooooh fuck I’m floating on clouds made of rainbows” in like 6 seconds and so I was pretty out of it. The hospital had all the recently-post op patients all in one big-ass room, and they see patients for ALL sorts of surgeries, so I was next to an old guy who got his knee replaced on one side and some young 30-something dude with some kind of mechanism on his leg. So I asked him what happened since I was high as fuck and feeling kind as a result, and he said he broke his leg hiking off-trail when his leg went down a literal rabbit hole and snapped his shinbone. I say something like “damn dude that blowssssss” while giggling because I’m high as FUCK on actual fentanyl and he’s like “Yeah, for real, I’m feeling great right now though! What about you? What are you in here for?”
And I fully was not thinking like a person, I was thinking like a fentanyl-addled tgirl so I just go “Oh, haha, they cut my dick off!”
And he just kinda stops and is like “Hah-WAIT what? Why?” and I was trying to think of an acceptable answer to tell this cis guy because it’s dawning on me through my drug-induced haze that not everybody wants their penis gone and before I can think of a response two nurses just came up and…wheeled him away. Idk where to, and I don’t think he did either, because he kept looking back at me and frantically asking the nurses where they were taking him and I never gave him an adequate response so he probably thought he was gonna get that “Transgender for Everyone” shit before he was probably actually delivered to whoever his ride home was.
Who would win
Miss Piggy
Angel from Buffy
if it is to be said
if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

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reminds me of
the shellfish allergy NO NO FUCKING S HRIMP OR HE D IE post
reminded me of this
did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight
bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.
honkpilled shoomaxxer
straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi
when you go to bed significantly earlier than usual, a little menu should pop up asking if you want Wake Up Early or More Sleep. and then you should get what you requested. that's my human body UI improvement for the day.

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i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny
it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit