The children's show villain is a figure who sadly is not seen outside the children's show. There are few stock characters who as succinctly declare, from sheer stage presence, "the world is unloveable and it is painful to live here; that which delights mankind is like ash on my tongue" without being too fucking whiny about it.
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In the third stitch from the red chain, ch 10
skip 2 st, 8 hdc [8]
slst and cut off extra yarn, weave in from behind
Head (green yarn) - 00:31:00
R1: ch 14, slst in the first ch making a circle
R2: ch1, hdc2tog, 10 dc, hdc2tog, slst ch 2 [12]
R3 dcinc, 2 dc, 6hdc, 2dc, dcinc, slst ch 2 [14]
R4: 2 dc, 3 hdc, 4sc, 3 hdc, 2 dc, slst ch 1 [14]
Cut off yarn
Upper lip - 00:40:15
At the 5th st from the head, insert green yarn
R1: ch2, dcinc, 6dc, dcinc [10]
R2: ch2, turn dc2tog, 6dc, dc2tog [8]
R3: ch2, turn dc2tog, 4dc, dc2tog [6]
R4: ch2, turn dc2tog, 2dc, dc2tog [4]
ch1, cut off extra yarn
Lower lip - 00:47:44
R1: ch1, 6 hdc [6]
R2: ch1, turn hdc2tog, 2hdcdc, hdc2tog [4]
ch 1 turn
Attach red mouth piece and tongue by sc in every stitch, slst,
Cut off extra yarn and weave in
Stuff in
Eyes (white yarn) x2 - 00:53:40
R1: MR, 6sc in MR [6]
R2: slst, ch1, 6 sc [6]
slst and cut off extra yarn
Glue on eyes and heads for pupils
Attach head and tail at opposite ends,
Put stitch marker 4 st away from each direction for limbs
Legs x4 - 01:01:24
ch7, slst, skip 1 st st, 2 slst, (ch2, skip 1st st , 2 slst) *2, 4 sc, slst
Cut off and weave in yarn
Abbreviations + additional links under the cut
Abbreviations
R1 = Row 1
MR = magic ring
ch = chain
st = stitch
slst = slip stitch
sc = single crochet
dc = double crochet
hdc = half double crochet
inc = increase
dec = decrease
dc2tog = double crochet 2 together (used for decreasing)
hdc2tog = half double crochet 2 together (used for decreasing)
[12] = the amount of stitches you should get for that row (especially for increase/decrease instructions)
See this article about the abbreviations + video showing how to do a magic ring: https://catherinecrochets.com/what-does-mr-mean-in-crochet/
Another article about abbreviations : https://joyofmotioncrochet.com/crochet-abbreviations-and-terms/
Here's another article, showing some of the differences between USA vs UK abbreviations: https://peacefulcrochet.com/us-vs-uk-terms/
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You are a bug in bug hell but your spider torturer so fucking bad at their job that the devil himself has to grab you with his gay pitchfork and help them
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on the subject of it often being out of character for characters to be having carefully negotiated bdsm sex in smut fics: 90% of metal gear ships are insane toxic yaoi and would definitely be having sex that is neither safe nor sane and only borderline consensual HOWEVER otacon and snavid would be thoroughly negotiating kinks before during and after sex like theyre doing mission briefings on a codec call