My dad read me stuff like the lord of the rings and the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and Sherlock Holmes as bedtime stories when I was a kid and I dunno what sort of effect that had on my development but whatever it did I think I’m making it everyone else’s problem

Reading chapter books one chapter a night to his kids was I think also an excuse for my dad to read some books he’d never gotten around to reading by himself. Did he know how sexual the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy series can possibly get? No. We learned that together as a family.

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws

*clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang*

seeing this image in 2026 is like seeing an old friend who I've dearly missed

this isn't the gif i thought it would be .

inherent gay need to redesign my bedroom every 3 months

Barricade the door

has anyone ever actually seen a shareholder or are we just supposed to believe they actually exist

I did once when I was working in a coffee shop. He was on a business call loudly talking about some tech speculation. When I asked him how it went a few days later, he panicked and asked how I knew such sensitive information. From this I gather they are of weak constitution, and startle easily

we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"

They’re letting people born in 2005 be 21

There could be an ‘05 baby at the club and you wouldn’t even know. Terrifying. Please stay safe out there