oh jeez how frightening

Did you know that um…. (remembers that words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm) …………

[trying to create mystique with the new coworker] no really, I always thought plz was short for pelezinho, I didn't know until I was older because I had only comics and a computer

sitting down for a meal, picking up a chip and laughing like I'm seeing a delightful curiosity. what is this thing? I say, shaking my head. what will they think of next? he admits he's been quiet today because he hit a dog and destroyed it on the way to work, oh my god I'm so sorry

Hero, in recognition for your courage and temerity in the face of my absolute evil, I grant thee a ring of maidenification.

this shits gonna flip into a clean 500 gold pieces for sure

Of course it will, should it leave your finger~

my friend you are off your rocker if you think this thing is even getting close to one of my ring slots I know better than to make that mistake after putting on one of your amulets and being turned into a newt for a week

you were really cute as a newt. . .

my sister and her husband go see new movies a lot and a place near the theater they go to does $5 margaritas on monday so they’ve started doing marg movie mondays where they go see a movie and get a marg but they call the margaritas different things based on what they’re seeing. as far as naming goes “wuthering margs” was a little bit of a miss for me but it was preceded by “margipliers” when we saw iron lung so thats kind of a lot to live up to