sparkplug misadventures

im speechless

watching this again i can physically feel the hotdog in my lungs

The two Jehovah’s Witnesses that always come to my door are alarmingly buff. Like, muscles-straining-through-their-white-dress-shirts buff. I don’t even have a joke to make about this, guys. I just feel like you should know that I am plagued by these righteously jacked proselytizers and that, for whatever reason, I’m constantly running into them at the grocery store and they always ask me how my cat is doing. It’s really somethin’.

they must do jehovahs fitness

FUCK. HOW DID I MISS THAT.

when millennials were first heading into high school and college there was a huge trend in news stories about how stressed out our kids are, how their backs are getting messed up from carrying so many books, how they’re sleeping less and doing more school work, and how we should do more to help our kids have the childhoods we had because our kids are falling apart from stress and being forced to be more productive than kids should be. but then once millennials started hitting the workforce all the news was about how millennials are lazy and narcissistic and entitled lmao you were real concerned about us until you found out a 23 year old is more qualified to do your job than you

he 😜👦 was a skater 🚴🎿 boy 🎸🎮🚬she 🙅 said 💬 see you later 👋 boy ✌️ bush did 9/11 he🚶wasn’t good enough 👺 for her💅💆💇👰

Depression really out here killing mfs, ya’ll stay strong man. Stay here with me.

All animals go to heaven is just illogical planning. You’re telling me every crocodile that ever lived is in heaven? Heaven must be swarming crocodiles. Does that sound like heaven to you? Thousands of millions of crocodiles?

do girls really mature faster? or do we just excuse boys’ immaturity longer?

I never see posts about Ireland on my dash

i think it’s really Cool how there are so many ways to express emphasis™ on tumblr and they’re all c o m p l e t e l y different it’s #wild

#E m p h a s i s™

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE