this too shall pass

ok I know everyone’s considered Ryland grace wearing an “I put the ace in space” t shirt but. have we considered the infinitely funnier option of putting this shirt on eva stratt

tumblr is (rightfully!) horny for trains but i need you to understand buses can be just as sexy as train transport. if this sounds fake it's because the bus systems you've interacted with have been purposefully hobbled by bad funding/management. i promise well-run bus transit is SO fucking hot actually start panting

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??

*Puts hand over gaud’s mouth* It’s a butterfly pea. Please ignore the Latin name.

think I've been mildly cursed by a witch

for years now my laptop charger has reliably broken every 6 months. admittedly i keep replacing it with the cheapest possible generics, but I've tried differed brands and ALWAYS, 6 months in Death knocks impatiently at my door, its skeletal hand outstretched demanding yet another goddamn power cable. the only feasible explanation is i pissed off a witch. the alternative is that i'm the problem, which seems unikely

the witch is called enshittification

excellent so is this like a rumpelstiltskin situation or

the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny

HATE when u can feel ur intestines writhing. cease your wriggling insolent belly worm

WHEN do you ever feel that

the worms yearn for escape

The worms are telling you to go see a doctor...

@entities-of-posts the corruption/flesh?

awwww, they were exploring their new enclosure 😍😍😍