poet breathe now

cvs caremark: okay :) just add your phone number so we can verify its you

how tf would you verify if I don’t have an account already but sure fine here

cvs caremark: we don’t recognize that number :) please try again

i have tried this for a week straight now and your online help needs a login to work so i guess I’ll call the goddamn number

cvs caremark hotline: hello :) are you a member, doctor, or pharmacist?

im none of these im trying to become a goddamn member

cvs caremark hotline: I didn’t understand that :) are you a member, doctor, or pharmacist?

NONE OF THESE

cvs caremark hotline: I didn’t understand that :) are you a member, doctor, or pharmacist?

I’m going to commit a crime

cvs caremark: okay let’s skip that question :) what is the phone number associated with your account?

I don’t have a goddamn account

cvs caremark hotline: okay let’s skip that question :) please hold to speak to a representative :)

fucking finally

cvs caremark call center: hello :) what’s your name

I’m just trying to make an account

*thirty seconds of dead air* hello. are you still there

cvs caremark call center: oh. yes.

I will give you information on my goddamn card that you sent me because I need a goddamn account to use it. I’ve tried using your goddamn website to register and it won’t work

cvs caremark call center: okay thank you :) it looks like you need to register your phone number for this to work :)