tescos finest

this is the worst day ever so this guy offers me to bathe in this new fangled bathtub and im taking the bath and its cool and the motherfucker starts chopping carrots in it. go do that somewhere else.

(voice of someone about to turn 30) it’s nice making friends. It’s nice to play together and have fun. It’s nice to hang out

genuinely sickening to think about how men pop up out of holes in the ground and you have to swing a mallet and hit them over the head to get them to stop

no one is coming to save you its true its true someone might be coming to hang outttttttttt though. someday

a little bit of awesomr in my life !

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

putting ketchup on fries is too permanent for me … i have to dip . i control the sauce

i think we should start openly mocking male creatives who can't figure out how to write women. like actually i think it's embarrassing that it took elliot page transitioning for christopher nolan to give him a good role. why did it take like ten years to get the first female lead in a marvel movie? why is it a Known Fact that stephen king can't write women? why is 50% of the population omitted from large ensemble works? i asked my friend to name a movie directed by a man with a majority female cast and he said ghostbusters 2016. ghostbusters. ghostbusters. g

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

i firmly believe that if puppies could talk one of their favorite things to say would be "im a puppy!!!"

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women