the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

Behold! The printing titty!

I normally tag these posts “specific ass machines” after a minor meme that blew through Tumblr, but I was tempted to tag this one “specific boob machines”.

disappearing into the bathroom at the club only to reappear covered in decorative printing patterns followed by a 10ft lady wearing bowls as a bra

I lava good bbq

SIT THE FUCK DOWN

My ringing just went away for the first time in years. What is this blissful quiet.

wait wait i gotta try this, i don’t think i’ve had Actual Silence since i was like 5

HOW THE FUCK

Reblogging to save a life, and also because, even if you don’t have tinnitus, this is totally worth trying if you like new sensory experiences.  

tom nook is NOT a landlord!!! he is a construction worker! he SELLS you a WHOLE HOUSE! He is not CHARGING YOU however many bells a month to live there! You PURCHASE a HOME that he BUILDS FOR YOU and then you PAY HIM FOR HIS SERVICE. He charges no interest he sets no time limit it is a relationship built on trust. the only penalty you get for not paying off your home is that he won't build more home until you pay him for the first one. A guy that builds you a house wherever you want him to and then charges you for the cost of construction is not a landlord you own the fucking home

He is, however, in the mafia

Ugh, it was in mine. It's off now.

AI is a freacking plague, I share this for any windows user.

*looking at the OC I crafted with my own hands* what the actual hell is her problem

sucks so unbelievably bad that you can’t just like be a lady’s maid anymore. there used to be a job that consisted of taking care of one woman’s every need every day for your whole life including dressing and undressing her and living with her and that was a normal thing to do in fact it was encouraged.

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!