and now my heart is so icy.

hey man, we all have to start somewhere. stick with cereal and slowly work your way up to toast. if that fails, then takeout is a really good idea. order it, remove all the evidence of where it came from, and then claim that you made it. thank you, thank you! never had any sanity to begin with, and totally planning on making the father stay up with the little one. see? i’ve got this all figured out. i’m ahead of the game here. lovely to meet you, jack. i need to take a second to fangirl over your role in trial by fire. SO GOOD! i fucking sobbed the entire time. that sounds fun. does your mother-in-law not like you or? 

oh shit, i never even thought about that. that’s a genius idea. instead of being my first customer, why don’t you just join me on this business adventure? you can have a cut of the income too. vegan? you got it! tarot cards always look so fun to me, but i’ve never really gotten into them. however, i do wish you luck and am totally willing to come for a reading when you’re ready. 

You’re the best! Take your time, I’m sure it’s worth the wait. It’s true, fame is momentary but baking skills are forever. Game of Thrones and Love Bug are so yesterday, today it’s all about the banana bread. 

Really? oh my god you’re the sweetest, thank you.

not to brag or anything, but it really is. i’ve got the best bread in town. just, you know, don’t go quoting me on that in case i’m wrong and someone shows me up. right? talk about old news. 

really! she was so fuckin’ adorable. JJ is a close second. just -- ugh. the second gen was SO good. 

don’t know what you’re talking about, bud. those mug cakes are pretty hard to make. you gotta get the timing perfect or else they’re going to come out as hard as a rock and non-edible. have i ever mentioned that you’re my favorite co-star and fellow parent? no? well, i’m doing it now. if i ever need anything, then you’ll know it because you’re the first one i’m calling when i’m sleep-deprived and sobbing at three in the morning because my child won’t sleep. prepare yourself. 

you know what would make your future niece/nephew feel even better? if you just let their mom win this little baking contest. we all know my banana bread isn’t going to win when you’re involved. give me a win here and i’ll love you forever. 

i would be honored to let you try my banana bread, but only if you let me try those cinnamon buns you’re talking about. we all know you’re the queen of baking, so i’m trying to get my filthy paws in some of those goods. a concert sounds fun -- are you performing new songs or some of your past ones? 

doesn’t that sounds like a dream? i mean, a house made entirely out of banana bread would smell SO good. granted that it would start to mold after about two weeks, but ... still. i’m here for it. you should be too. 

I anxiously await this delivery. Seriously, I don’t know what it is about banana bread but store bought just won’t do.

right? store bought always seems too soggy to me. like it’s been sitting in the bag for too long. the fresh, home-made stuff is where it’s at. 

i’ve now got the approval of niall horan, which means any network would be stupid to turn me down. gonna pitch this to the food network and see if it gets me anywhere. you know what would be better than that? getting to eat what other people bake. 

it better be considered a skill, because that was what i was planning to fallback on if my banana bread career failed. thank you! as soon as i get my ass back in the kitchen, i promise that i’ll send some over! 

give me four to five business days and i shall deliver! just gotta find the time to make the trip to the store and get some more baking supplies. the only problem is that i’m so lazy lately that i don’t see it happening any time soon. right? they’ll have to carry on my baking legacy. my acting career, joe’s singing career? they don’t mean shit when it comes to baking. 

also, hi, i’m a huge fan of yours. your character on skins was my fuckin’ favorite.